littlebitofsonshine

Living in my sonshine false dream of a fair caring world with human respect.

2011-12-19T06:59:00.000-08:00

Not all humans have the same culture,I have found even in the usa of A. We would be watcing T.V. Tom used to tell me movies where the work of the devil as he read his westerns of Male and Woman sin and hero worship of hoe's and hard working Female's totally loyal to them as they played stud field worker till the she came along.Loyal many a Hero where in the story's to there lady's fair as she to them till his life or her's was taken.Happy ending sad ending they really are a way to escape our own realty's.Be nice to be able to work from home or work at a JOB where i could live a world where my labor or knowledge taught at all the right and proper ages ,but how when you rebel ed so hard even before you even knew what it was because of knowing truth of hearth for a so called race,in my case races.Then i learn and learn still but not in a fashion of a lady o well is life.Now my dream was to be able to go somewhere and politely visit and not spit on the window,s to the places of dreams we would by in store's of untold glory.Some even visited these places with no respect i had a window also, that's all a tiny window into a world not just into next state over ,with so many kind polite people.Has to be a dark side tho as always in life so you can still be able to see the light even in a blizzard storm!A haven i have rainbows made from around the world such wonderful hand crafted humanship Sorry don't know of the sex of the creator of my wonderful treasurers to me ,junk to another! Why we each in the dream had a place to work to spend family and also a place for me to sit time be able to plan a week here or there if budgeted it right a year.Some people work makes them traveling if not how could I have ever gotten the treasure,s.Now when you have a pond in balance everything from plants to fish bugs animals humans can even drink it,play and relax watching it move as we breath.Well if you lived in a learning cesspool with even some proper balance to your life you can grow learn to love and grow.Jobs would start coming back to us healthier stronger world wide .Human's would be making a fair living being able t eat of all the plant's have the right not to be changed to become harmful and we could eat and be what we eat as human in a sharing caring trading world.A world where wearing some even in some country's out of respect of there ideas of proper even if your from a world where if its hot get a tan make some healthy vitamin D from the sun,but then even in them place's some have no respect f others body's maybe its all a hard learning art i missed some where in my never learned in the order who knows.But this is it share and trade save for the storm so you can live to see the flowers of spring! Nothing like some fresh not as much needed lovely tea and foods allowed to grow as they may in friends and streams where clean again what's my most sad knowledge i have learned is where all them mass go go go started so many tried warming when science played Creator gets out of hand so shale be the fall of man ok now this just can't be right maybe it was human's people's all life as we knew it o wait that has happened to millions in less then a life time in some they shared there stating out with a wagon ,now a wagon can't be drawn the car and trains and plains have won why can't we all be one and learn respect like so many culture's can have for there own!Why can't we all slow down take a look at all the books Oops no time.;o;ok done with my bla blaing again maybe who knows maybe many people of peace and fairness will come out and be heard and so many nice changing some not all new ways to a more slow steady time of local and world peace and health with respect can start in truth with a fruit fish.:o)<3

Hope

2011-05-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about hope a lot lately.Pandora's box hope she keep .I also think about when i was young a lady had a hope chest her family would help her add things to it for when she got married .Is this what happened to Pandora she was given in marriage to her worse nightmare? Now me being me I never got a hope chest as only a virgin could have one and being raped the first time at 9 even i knew from the book my mom read to us every night i was now unworthy ,Sad she never knew to ask me what happened that day she had to rush to work never to know the horror i lived .She was so blind to our pain living in her own.Hope is all we really have in life and when Hope keeps getting torn from you .When is it ok to give up .When is it ok to stop the healing you have been trying to do for years ?When can you stop believing and it not be a sin?I think I'll ask God on this one if he will speak with me or Mother earth she has warm earth to lay in .People say be the change you want but how long can you be that change how long can you walk it talk it be it before you relies no mater how well you try others like messing with your mind your heart and get some kind of sick pleasure from tearing you down even when you have never really tried to harm any one.Maybe i should have lied to everyone never been honest been all the things i never could like .Maybe if i can been a cold uncaring money grubbing whore life would have been better Maybe if i had been cold and cruel to everyone and as underhanded as so many have become cruelty would not hurt me .I doubt it to be honest as i can only be me and me i will stay and people will keep doing what they do and hope will fade away as in all things faith is all i have left. I hope this country will wake up I hope none will ever have to suffer rape or being treated like property to be beat and disrespected by the ones they love and thought they loved them .I hope still humans can learn to be honest with there caring mates in all things as i found out what you do not know can hurt you and if they do not care in truth they will harm you .I do know it took over 5 years to heal my body this much wonder how long it will take now i have stopped all things that keep me stable?When hope finally dies inside does the body go just as fast so my tired lonely soul can rest?Why is it when i have a good day and can do things everyone's to busy but when im so sick and dizzy is when they want me to come out and play?Why can't people be understanding you do not have to look sick when you are well one thing is im lucky my kidneys have held out so well.Now im tried with out my hope and in my Faith I know God will forgive me as they changed the words of a book to control you not to help you sad so many can not see that.

My TRUTH

2011-05-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

My truth is there is only 1 creator God as to sub or demi gods not my topic right now. I am talking my hard truth .My truth is we ,am speaking of all people should have a right to choose what region or none religion we are and have some comfort in it.I do not like to believe but know its true how so many force there beliefs on others and if they do not choose that way some are killed or worse as it is said hell is on earth.They also say Heaven will be on earth also.You see to me my idea of a heaven on earth is this a true balance of science and nature to provide all needs to all people .Everyone have a job to do the best they can and to also love that job to be able to whistle while you work.I will not live to see this even if it could happen.That is my truth.My truth i found out with hope of love your body can create so called miracles of science but when that joy and hope is gone so is the miracle your body can deteriorate at such a faster rate.I now understand how some who truly love each other as soulmates why one sometimes follows the other in death so soon it was there love that keep there souls in the living body.People say its love that makes the world turn it just might be that i do not know.I know in my truth i have a soul i also have a human body that is diseased I have Hep C geno type 1 a for those who can understand i have had it now around 35 years that i know of.Last december i got checked my doctor was surprised as i was i had in science shown i was finally healing my blood count was better but the test was taken a few weeks before the answers got back by then .I had lost something with in me my faith of a soulmate also my faith that not all humans can have some kind of trusting friendship.I had put my trust again in the wrong hands it seams.Now my body and my brain is tired my truth is herbs can help heal takes a very very long time when your as sick as i am.I also know in my truth to stop them would stop the healing and nature would take its course.Well it has My truth is i have and will continue to lie to a few of my friends as i do not want them to worry some are very young as there is nothing they can do only God can at this point as i will not allow science touch me again.Allow myself to believe to force my mind and soul to heal this sick and diseased body im done.Like my show is to take the meds i do because i know they will help a little to make my last weeks or months if im blessed that long a little more comfortable.My truth is i have been blessed to meet on the net so many kind and wonderful people i think as some pretend or have become unattached and do not care its a human at the other end of most computers.So in my truth i know humans could heal the world can redo it but will they only God and what little time left can see will greed keep winning over nature and human health?My wish and prayer for the earth and all one her is you find that perfect balance and yall are able to make heaven on earth not for anyone human but for you all.We all live and we all die is a truth also a truth not all deaths are in the comfort of your bed in a home surrounded with love,some are murdered very painfully alone with only God to be there waiting.God does not stop cruelty only humans are given that choice in free will.God can heal you tho from cruelty.God can help you see with in yourself and in others what you wish was different and you can change you alone as forcing others to change is just that force and none ever chooses to be forced.My truth is God made us all my truth is we have been given a choice and so many because of disrespect of anothers ways or body have lost sight we are meant to be able to learn to live in peace sad comes even if its not human mad .Death does not have to come at the hands of a none caring scientific find or even bombs that are human made .My truth is this we are all of god and we should all respect each others bodys minds and souls as our own and do onto others as you would have them do onto you not as others sometimes do to you .So in saying my truth may we all work in what precious time we have to make our earth a heaven we dream in peace and great long lived healthy environment for all humans of all faiths and none faiths. Be safe walk in peace always. Bless you all in life and healing in our world soon to be yalls as i will not be here.

Trustworthy!

2011-04-07T12:34:00.000-07:00

Who or what, really is?To me God and His mate beside She not behind or in front but beside.

Trust

2011-03-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have allowed me to be hurt my last time from someone i have meet on the net .I am even going to take it to far as thank you human for teaching me do not trust a man again .Vows are a strong then to keep also very hard at times .I would know i have a vow that will be over in a few months .Then i will be taking the last Vow as a woman i can.I have found trust is a big thing you can trust someone or something a entity i will call them.They can lie to you harm you all in the name of helping you heal or what even it is you trust them with .What happens when you find you miss placed that trust you loose some of your self trust.You start questing why.I am tired of the why and never get a answer from then you can allow this to tear you apart of put your trust back where its safe and comfortable in God.As humans you deal with other humans with there own agendas.You see as you feel not as they see or feel so you trust yourself to be connecting when you really never did i trusted my dad he broke my heart at 4 i trusted my big bro he said starve.I trusted my mom she layed with my love.I trusted my love he broke my heart.I tried to trust in love and i now do i trust no mater what God will love me as he is the one who saved me sent people of him to help me sent me people to help.I trust as long as i am alive i will know there is a God and Mother earth is alive and someone will always want to harm for no other reason then a cruel laugh.I hope we as humans can finally trust as a whole we can heal the earth so our kin folk 7 generations can breath clean air again like we have not in a long time.I trust enough parents who care will stand up and finally say enough i hope the teachers will finally stand and say the truth is what is needed and teach it.I trust and home life will go one way after i leave the net and never return.I trust one day this rambling of mine will help someone know its it not all-ways your fault.I trust google will stay truly helping freedom of choice in all life will go on and the sharing of all peoples truths and not just changed junk being called a fact will be called a truth when it is not .I trust a bird will sing th4e morning i take my last vow to the male side of spirit .I trust i will find happiness with in my mind as my balance is getting close to being for a while at least within myself.I trust life for all is not so bad as i have lived or as i have read.I trust people will learn to see its the we in the mes that will make the final difference .

Finding the scales of balance.

2011-03-08T09:23:00.000-08:00

Balance is not always easy in life.So many kinds to explore,from standing ,walking ,eating,playing,learning,growing,sharing,taking,loving,living,creating just so many kinds to learn.Do we learn in balance that to take to much and nothing is left to balance the taxing and giving then it seams you have enough for all the next day if you do not over harvest on the day before and you plant in balance and grow so many things that need a healthy balance,but who's to say what is a healthy balance any more? When young the world seams perfect, till your first major pain.Most time it is a learning pain tho like do not touch hot!Some parents tho just do not watch children much some over watch with out the guiding hand just a NO with out understanding why besides they said so.Some say no hot no bite no bad and try to watch you and you learn fast why they say no and you are not punished for hurting self because you where learning a well learned lesson.Your pain was looked at and properly cared for and next time the say no it hot or it cause pain you learn faster in peace and not major trauma. We keep saying we want freedom to be allowed to grow be how ever we see fit in peace with in the world,but our actions some prebias some learned in a sad harmful way.In a balanced home i think everyone should be respected for there gifts and nurtured to grow to be the best for themselves as well as for there loved ones a balance of give and take.In science and natural health we seem to be loosing as there seams to be no balance in teaching good health and good tasting or fast acting to slow healing.In schools children have been lost because there is no balance at home for a teacher to help grow a parent needs to spend time and be able to teach there child how to at least go a b c 1 2 3 4 5 you can not expect a teacher to be able o teach 15 to 45 children each to do this in a learning way to sit still for 2 and 3 hours at a time.The balance is the teacher and parent both should be caring for a child's best interest as well as the future community the children with grow up into.Why if we seek balance and freedom of choice do we knock down others who want to enjoy that same freedom in peace in there community?Balance has me so off balance but then my live is a see saw with fast stops not a nice slow up and down with some times just sitting in total balance with the other side of the see saw.So many times i say no i cola a day is enough then i now say no 1 cola a week is enough this is now my balance others may be yeah 3 sodas a day and it is ok with there balance and i do not care not hurting me or themselves yeah.When to much we all want to say something to someone but when we hear it ohno stay out my business but in off balance these same are first ones to say i told you so when they could not hear themselves and you do not push your i told you so's.Can this world ever have balance will i ever find a healthy balance in life ?So many self questions since all the years i have been blogging and learning and sharing and taking not many have answered my open questions .lol balance is its not to get feed back but if no one else cares why should I about them?Easy to care openly is to want the best for all people and in there happy hurtful way as i live in mine.and bla bla bla now back to seeing if i can find balance in health.God will be done i pray either way.

Why man ?

2011-02-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

Why do we do the thing's we do ? Why do we support human's who do not treat other human's humane? Why do not each and every vote count in all voting poles?Why do we have areas and not just single vote's on other votes? Why do we make poisons for bugs that make our children sick?Why do we say we stand for freedom and justice and not say the freedom is to have nothing to loose and no right to choose in the said name of freedom of choosing a country long ago and creating one who had pride in made in amercia with pride to own made in other lands in a fair trade? Why have so many places lost pride in creating a fair and just world for all ?Why do we forget it was the freedom of being able to have pride and being justly taxed and the promise of a government who cared for us and not a cold uncaring one.Why do we slap the hand of a polluting cooperation but jail a man for the same thing?Why do we not back the healer's but back cooperation who push drugs?Why do we allow untruths to be taught?Why do we saw of a weak link in the chain of life and not protect it ?Why do we say save the whales when we allow and pay with our very health with polluting poisons that are dumped into said seas and oceans?Why do we the people sit and ignore the warnings from Mother earth and call all the story's of warning story's of untruth? Why is one science allowed and a healing one not? Why are lies on the news when its a cover up and when people start dieing it was a mistake?Why do I even bother to ask why any more ?Why do we want true learning ,but accept wasted time learning lies and things we would not need?Why ask WhyMan?I think i know as long as its mans world people have no chance is this why?

Runing for President !

2011-01-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

Ok my friends have talked me into this .I do not want the JOB but i would take it to prove how silly we have become like voting for Mikey Mouse and such I want to be a write in also just to see if i can get more votes then a cartoon mouse!Ok my platform real health real knowledge real caring of what is needed so we can be happy equal workers in our blessed areas.Real freedom of religion and from a forced religion or religions.I would need a great team if i made it not that im counting on winning it but to do anything but to prove we the people are not happy with how our money and our government has become. So in saying this you are free to read my blog know a little more about me if i get enough people to say they want me to i will take all this serious if for no other reason then to make the ones in charge see we need to become we the people not we the cooperation any more.So i humbly ask you the people do you want me a no-one to try and make world change if so leave me a message and tell me so if not ill go back to my Rainbow Lala land and watch us fall some more. be safe walk in peace allways sonshine P.S. if enough want me to really try to answer some questions on some things best i can from my limited knowledge. Now its time for we the people to stand for freedom for all people!

The Body Temple

2011-01-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

When I think of the human body ,being female im taught to think of a female body as that's what I am but wanting to understand males of course!Well Now i am trying to see the body from a whole new perspective in a life form spirit connected way.I am told i am special now my truth is we all are special and unique. First i now think we both male and female should be taught our body health from a young age like in old haha You are what you eat first.Second your body is not a play toy for others male or female it is a special Temple of Love .Now i slowly learn if we are what we eat and our food is polluted then our body's are also polluted.Pollution is not good for anything ashes at least can bring back nutrients to the soul where can oil can anything heal polluted soil?Now oil some are good for the body to eat to drink and even put on your skin that is such a wonder and delight of possible pleasurable senses.When the skin is damaged so are the nerves in some small way like the brain is protected in a encasing of bone to keep it safe its laid in a bed of soft tissues now if the tissues are ripped from a blow to the head the damage can sometimes heal with out major memory or moter skill lose. So we need to know at a young age to be caring to others and to expect them to be the same but we live in a hatfull world .In usa you have people named by so called race americans then you have the religion named ones where are the Plain ol americans ?O well back to body You need to know as special as you are in life there is also your special one who matchs you but they expect you to be like them in so much in a mean world its hard to be that way .How do you not eat poluted foods when its been dna changed covered in cymicials and beat here and there by a fly by night human ?Is there a real body clean to leach out the toxins from the body once injected or is our dna being changed with the foods and the science can not see it now or do not care because science now rules nature like others have ruled your body ?ok ranting again is life o well im just one who wants to see and live the america i was schooled with when i was allowed to go to school sucks learning to be a rabel when harmed in one way and no way to cry for help no one would believe or even ask something like that to a child so young what a mind trip to find out how many adults will harm for a mind altering to a child there sick perverted sexual desires?I wish and st6ill do for all children to know how special there body and mind are not all humans have forgotten 7 generations of keep it safe because we do not rely own any thing in this plain we prebarrow it from our kin on this world yet to be born if there is any thing left for them at rate we are going will they even be born how many birth lines will go away to uncaring over control of science and no care for any of the body's on earth much less a small land plot that gets s polluted even the worms die.O well maybe before earths life cycle is done humans will have found its the peace and caring in loving wisdom that will take them on the next jump if not we are done.and lalala lala Remember if you have read this far that you are special and learn teach search for the real truth of common sense we are what we eat and if happily healthy mated hehe what they eat to .*blush*Kids i pray you will not find what this means till your old enough to understand the safely of loving your own monogamous mate or mated pair or how ever you are designed in your special spiritualist of being a human too.

Self truths I hope it helps you understand little Brother

2010-11-30T08:25:00.003-08:00

I sit and think and play a game called Kingdom Of Loathing .Interesting game it can teach steps in life,Money management ,Memory skills ,Typing improves spelling and also has many truthful facts in the parodies of the game and reading it all you can get lost in learning.I have meet some players and also some very kind people.In doing so it has awoken many memory's in me.So much now in life is a blessing to be count from being able to have 21.6 kbps dial up to just breathing.I like most people sometimes reminisce.You see i get sad when i hear of people who can remember certain things then i get mad .I have self learned i am just mad at myself because i can not remember you little brother before i was 13 but for a few short second spurts of memory . I have some with Jay and a few with Pat my memory's of you are strongest from when you where ran over then backed over by accident by someone to high to drive.I remember seeing you in the hospital and even when we all where playing role down the hill in your wheel chair!HaHa such a fun loving memory of a blessing you did not die .I talk with a little now and then .You of us all have made the dream of a Father and a Mother loving and working out so many things as a couple Bless you Terry for being in my little bros life and being the mother of my kinfolks.Richard you make me so proud i may not remember a lot nor was I around much after the bad time at 13.I do remember hearing you where hurt and i come to check on you Mom slammed the door on me 1 of the times .I have not been the best sister or Aunt to any of my kinfolks .You can not change the past you can get thing in order in your brain and heal is all I can do .I honor you my bro I salute you my Hero of my blood.Bless you allways in all your life .Happy birthday to you my truth and my little brother i knew because i did not have memory's of you something was majorly wrong with me I could not and still can not remember so many things .Talking with Mom helps as i now know the kind lady of my memory's was her!This self discovery to know so many things where messed up and i am now healing even more in a way i think my last Brain damage helped me self see even more.Thanks to Google spell check i am learning to respell again haha Thanks to Yahoo for allowing me to meet so many kind people from around the world and to be able to see threw there eyes.Thanks to Stumbleupon for the wonderful discovers.Thanks to MySpace and even things i can not even use with frickingfracking blessed dialup hehe So to who ever desides to read this besides me bless you also for carring to read a humble stumble of my ranting and raving all this time and my Trial's and tribulations in life .Mars where ever you are be safe Further stay strong Flower stay pollinating Prole still role Prophet is walking and the Bob is calling hehe

Remembering my dream

2010-11-22T10:27:00.000-08:00

I like to sometimes go back over my writing mistakes and all helps me to see what i was thinking and how i was thinking .My dream of a healthy Earth for all life might could become a reality IF humans work together as a world and majorly plant trees.They have a new blessing a way to plant thousands of trees in a day where they have a change to live and give us a lot of healthy healing oxygen again!They have ways of mass cleaning water by the million of gallons! They have a way to heal humans with out all the experimental drugs!We have proof humans and all oxygen breathing life forms need clean air that TREES give off as well as they use carbon to reproduce there by protect air.I have found someone who i feel i can be totally honest with and they will not hate my past or Judge me for it.It is so wonderful and life giving to feel needed!I wish humans could show some of that to all of Earths beings.We would not be in this forewarned state of life to death we would have headed it and should have stopped it from happening!O please Earth heal this is my strongest because if she can heal so can we in humanity and life for our great great great great great great and on and on children.We where to not do anything that could hurt 7 generations from us what have WE Done to there healthy life future please save our Earth and OUR children.Ok world we need to be one in healing with respect for differences in each other and not judge one by grandmother's actions we are not all the same in any thing close but truly we are each and ever one very special we need to find out specials and let us all be the best us's we can be in healing and life and caring for life in all ways trees to we need to respect there life along with the wild life who we are blessed to still have!Yes this is my dream i can start to reseed it.I loved that dream and would be a honor if i could see it in action before it is to late for us all.as Going to space will not save Earth or or grand children only loving earth and all life can this be done.

trust and Google mail could not send to it so i am blogging it haha

2010-11-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

Well i am on dial up .So i did not get to see the mess it made.I am a loyal user of Google and support your endeavors who heartily.Fear we all have there are mean cruel and mean people who could use it to harm others as we all have seen from the spy ware and violent wood use at many places including in on line game's! Yall have helped me learn to respell with your blessing to me spell check your free email your free blog, so I can share with the world but mostly with my family and friends .I joined yall when a friend invited me here .I am glad they did.So if someone must sew you over information on the original agreement said i think it said your goals i forget but as far as me on dial up i have no idea what was shared .Nore have i really checked as hard has never been my fear it might have been from others so i may need to worry but i am sure you will fix this so mean people can not harm others in words or actions but to also share to the world from us none harmer's.Just wanted yall to know you are appreciated and i agree with the dream of open knowledge to all in truth . be safe walk in peace allways sonshine

Prebias Ignorant Oxymoron Learning

2010-11-10T08:07:00.000-08:00

I find when someone share's it, is with how they live, and see the world .Me I learned humans where humans till I went to Ga.O man do people who are around you change your Innocent out look on life.I never saw a nigger in my life! I was 4 my moms mom was a mean and cruel human. I had many friends who where darker then me, but skin color is just that I thought and still do!!!!To me all humans are the same no mater the blood, or back ground ,and man does that still set my moms on fire for some silly reason we ,are mixed bloods.Do I have to now say I am a purple blood as I have bleed many times and it has never come out fricking blue?!!!As to blood kin where were they?I knew where my siblings where most the time when young .I know when my so called kin folks showed up they always made my mom cry. Then i think to myself am ,I sapost to be like that mean and cold with cruelty in ever word dripping like venom?I desisted a long time ago my quest in life was to be kind and helpful cruel at times yes I was to my own shame.Others still get embarrassed by my actions I would rather embarrass another then be mean and cruel ,someone turning red is always cute! Someone bleeding or crying is sad very sad only.So found out making fun of others a pleasure I did when I was a wee child and did not know better and i have done it and not meant to,now I try harder not to be so unthinking to others feelings. I now love to make little ones smile with joy for so long It hurt to even see what I could not have so I learned to love my cats as my children my maternal instinct is so strong I needed that kind of love to heal me! But to mean and cruel people it was something to make fun of some even went so far as to make pictures of a mother with a cat in her womb.Cute i liked it as it did not hurt me like some would think it would it comforted me as many of my friends may not totally understand but some do my ex mother in-law understood so much she called my beloved Drizzit her grand kitty bless her always in always i can't wait to see you MOM.I divorced my last ex not my sis or my mom or Dad may he rest in peace.She has taught me so much in life some even where childhood dreams of learning to skin a deer creator works in such mysterious ways.Sis I ca not wait to see you either! I feel so blessed you would come all this way to see humble me thank you .Ok back to learning in a prebias way .I learned bits and parts of so many religions growing up. I desisted hey why not mix them all till My self felt right with keeping in truth to do not worship a human .I think the closest I could ever get to that is if we get our true soulmate before my self given date if not single is good to haha.Learning to see from others peoples views so i could not be prejudging is not so easy .I found it best to watch also to make fun and share myself to some as i also want them to share with me I believe if i am not willing to be open and honest how can they trust me ?I also found out many can not believe in the usa a human could live my life but then most do not know a few years back I got a traumatic brain injury.Shoot I would not acknowledge it to even myself but my old councilor keep pushing it when I went back to her and I learned not only do i have 1 I knew about i had 2 I thought I had a extra hard head ops I don't haha.Now i am having to relearn spelling relearn how to do so many things in steps some things i never knew and others think i should know but to know what they know i would have had to gone past the 8th grade in school .I was pushed from school to school before my taking and even after because when i got back not only was i still a rebel i was now tbied to the point I had major like walking flashbacks of when I was taken at 13.Now I am not saying i was a saint or am now it would be a joke to me trust me .I like being very self blunt honist and it hurts a lot sometimes more i remember thanks to 5HTP my brain is healing to the point i now can remember a little of my baby bro when I was younger. I remember my and my older bro used to play dictionary a lot before i was taken but how can a 15 year old boy know about what damage can be done to a human brain when given a deadly blow or blows to the head?He thought I was the same but faking it all.I was not, but I tried my best to play along I knew what he was talking about I could not read I could not spell any more it slowly came back mom could get no help being a poor blue blood so pooy on that im a rainbow now and a rainbow I will stay I can love all people and give each human there own chance and not blindly bias hate them or there ways or religion thanks to learning and being able to talk with some from around the world.A just pray daily we can all learn to give people a chance in our life as being isolated as i am you learn it is sometimes good to have people around who you can talk with in a real way not spelling to spelling chat.I also have learned just because someone thinks i am like them or i think they are like me its cool to be way different but be able to connect in light of we are all human.We are the care giver's not the care takers if we take give back and that includes your self as well as the world.And on and on ok done for today *HUGS* you all in peace and in spirit i wish us all peace and true healing and not a prebias healing someone has been mistaught or not taught at all what was common since is now learned cents do you not hate being a # now ?

latin and the layman

2010-10-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

I started out wanting to escape real life on the net,but in truth you can also find life here too.Wanting to learn and share in a way others could understand me is not so easy when you learn confusion when young.First we learn print,and adding and subtracting.Then we have to learn cursive ,multiplying= dividing math someones history we learn someones ideas of science how life is all about freedom myths we are taught music sometimes ,someone idea of art and on and on .Now if you did not learn it in the land of opportunity your now foisted to do so in many things so you can be able to help even yourself.Paragraphs ops net programs to add to learning aww pooy this is for friends and family and who ever is bored i guess or discovering something old so live with it i do cause i have so much to teach self and try to learn to have to much on my plate haha Now back to learning if we read signs and books in print why do we have to learn cursive?If we choose a subject in school that uses Latin why are we not taught it when young if that really was the first dream of people to be able to understand and share information ?Why is most now needed used to be if chosen and wanted higher learning in language taught after 18 unless your blessed to learn it also when young , but when young the choices in america since i was born and raised here do not know about other country's first hand and some not even second hand here we are given the opportunity in many places to learn either or French or Spanish not Latin?Now opportunity is a key word to be able to if thats the opportunity you want .Its like we learn so much we get concussed when young i was and am called white but im a multicultural blood.I chose apachee of my fathers blood ops He was not around but to come tell me at 10 a tiny bit about him and i zoned in on apachee haha well forget it started reading history books above my so called age level they took them away and out of school,just because i was going to be in a fight and i painted my face you know way back when kids fought and learned others ways to settle things ops not allowed to let ever one know it .Teacher caught me walking in the school with red and blue on my face my idea of war paint. haha Teacher asked me a thing i did not know theres a war chief and o man i could get in trouble for not having permission and off went my paint he was a native and new his culture i was mixed and knew consumerism culture so i went to try to read or learn that ops no books no more no teachers is life haha Now i want to learn to do something to care for self after brain damage doggoneit 2 times and still need to learn what people are foisted to learn from a 8th grade not so easy as i remember to learn ops short term memory not so good so ops 10 times or more to get something remembered is this normal maybe reputation humm Then learn on it find out its a silent epidemic in usa humm A blow to the head that can rattle your cortex or move your brain can not always cause mental and other damage vision loss a unknown fear to build confusion that can last a few minutes to days weeks years to even start to heal some never do because of new life traumas from the trauma and not knowing it how can you learn from it and heal ?But then in a world of now over population you learn your just a number to some even people you think care but then again they may not know you or humans well enough to see a unknown damage to them or care!I have passed things i never finished does it count to some the pass got them money to others its something to redo for there own self pride.Good to have the whole course i was made a teacher of it what a joke to me i have to teach self as i did not really learn it all the first time my brain damage was still scaring or what ever.But i can fix that its nothing but can i fix or learn what i realty need to know so i can be a proper consumer or naturalist trying to live in nature like the wish of unchanged cheese love them germs and symbiotic relation o the creamy delight of real sugar fruit covered yogurt ops now all gone has to be protected from nature now what the hell?ops nature and science do not mix it seams we have to eat chemicals not of nature thats added to foods in cans in chips so it will last longer not us! I want to learn Latin so i can understand the names of plants the doctors and all who speak it so we are keep apart in knowledge as some is so special we cant have same common learning noperz you have to learn that last if ever shh even lawyers speak it doctors judges sucks when people talk to or about you and you have no layman idea of what they are saying im sure makes them feel extra special But if i really understood them and them also a common 1 language then truth would come out and o boy cant have that to unconfuse us all ? O well back to simple life learning and playing Love you Richard and family thanks for being my brother still as we learn we choose who is close family and who is not yall are not just a number to me.

To Pat on my sabbith

2010-09-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

Dear sister of mine i don't want to be misappropriate for you ,but i have to let my word's out.You my very much loved little sister.I was not a good big sis even when i thought i was i am so sorry.I can't change what was .I'm sure you remember when i left on my own at 13 after the bad guys had me?Know when the shot came in the window and come close to getting us both ?That's why i left little sister of mine to keep you safe.Did i have fun in the sun sometimes yes sometimes no it was hell and both .I don;t know how you saw me but i want the world to know How I saw you.Sweet ,kind,smart,pure innocent and untouched by evil.Life path's can go so many way's.Your one the best glass artist i have ever seen .I don't know how you saw my life we never really talked after your 21 birthday as we had plans but you said you had others.Yes i was very hurt i wanted to be the one to take you out and party the night away and keep you safe.You said you had a date i thought o great my sweet sis may have found her mate .So i hide my pain so you could enjoy your birthday .How was i to know it was a lie and you needed me to claim that day for just me and you ?Now little sis we are so far apart if you ever find my blog or if its still here better you to read and know my truth and not a fantasy life i now think you thought i had.Drugs to deal with life i did not want to stay awake so i could think i could keep me safe.To sleep in parts in a hole .Wash in Piedmont lake at night.To work all day and pray i got payed for cleaning stuff no one else would for the pay .To wake up not knowing where you where cause you had 4 selfs and more being made or parts to have brain damage and not know it to have a spirit locked so far inside to keep me safe.To change and loose memory's as 1 human as my brain learned to slit to self deceive at 4 if not before. Sis no mater where you are as with all i have called and are blood I LOVE YOU still. Blindly with a heart i wish i could heal all your pain and illness's i cant so i write .I can't talk to you I cant see you .I miss you but then maybe i really never knew you either or what you went through how you felt ,how you saw,as im not you with your life experiences,i am just me.so as long ad google is here and im allowed to keep it simple ill be here. My body may not but my words will stay here as long as allowed.Slow death has a way of changing your outlook. be safe walk in peace always little sis Your loving caring big sis toni the one who died but as sonshine i love you even forever more in this life and who knows if theirs a next life we can dream.

To my blood JJJ.Jr we know its realy your name haha

2010-09-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

Why do we keep trying why do we keep typing i ask myself this ,why do i bother because someone has to hear me just 1.This is to JJJ.Jr my second eldest brother as i never meet my eldest.So bro im sorry you and waren went to jail over my house of ill-repute. Warren knew how i survived as he was my mate but he was in rehab his first weekend home if i had just waited or known he would have believed me.I tryed to tell you as i ran out the door we had to leave there was only a small window in the time to get out safely but nooo .Did you even tell waren what i said to you and the people in the room?Well as least as i left i did tell them they had to go haha.How old where you 17 or 18?I forget so much has happened in life but then you could not believe i really was messed up.O well is life. I keep asking why as Mom tryed to tell many people when i got back something was wrong with me my head my spirit my mind but we where from the poor and also mom had to try and work 4 kids are not easy when dads not around and there are people praying off humans daily.Who could ever believe in america poor children did not just run away to find a better life but some where taken to join the slave market that does not exist in the land of the free. I'm so confused my life has been one long painful awaking i thank the Creator for at least im not a parent to a human or i would have messed them up also.to make peace is why i do this peace with myself and maybe a little peace to someone else .and since my last head trauma for once self inflicted as i was holding the handle but can't hear much haha and j have a great life as this is the words i want to last be said to you so im free. be safe walk in peace allways brother of same mother and father peace out Your long gone loving caring protecting confussing little sister Toni the Tiger is dead haha the sun burn her away the son saved Maria.

person = human?

2010-08-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

I have started to think on ownership.If i own something is its mine till death or is it mine till sold or mine till gifted away is it mine till stolen or took by other means ?Do i own myself do i own my soul what do and can we really own?If a person owns a human is that different then a human owning a person ? I see works like im free to be me and i thought this is what my country was about till i learned hard way not all people = humans are the same.Some TAKE your freedom some respect your freedom why are there 2 names for a thinking body ?what language are they from what do they really mean ? I look for the sameness of everything i know im weird and i love my weirdness.Seams we all want freedom to live a happy life some want simple some want run run run all over .Each there own there's that word again own .How many kinds of owns are there "hair pulling" .More i learn american english more i find the sameness is only in we all breath. Now the airs polluted but then we cant own the air we can only poison it while we run and run and burn and burn then breath it as we NEED air to live or stop harming as bad air causes bad things. How do we find sameness if we keep fighting for freedoms all humans world over should have the freedom to be themselves with out having another blame them because there thoughts can not be self controlled ? If i eat peanuts knowing it will make me sick should i blame the one who sold them to me not knowing im allergic? I think it would be my own fault if i know it had them in there.If i lust for someone or love is it my place to try and force them to feel what i do should i blame them for my feelings if they did not feed into them just by being polite to me ? I don't think so i think i should learn to control myself so in there freedom if im loved or lusted back its 2 minds choices as to how in peace respect for each other as all honesty.When 1 lies then it is not a free choice its harm as the other does not know your truth so in peace with respect I have to learn all this to find out . Is it realty possible for the world in true peace and love for real freedom to respect each other and try to honor differences in truth as in truth takes a lot of time to understand others cultures ways as well as there religious limits they have i would pray chosen to be?I like my religion not a easy one for me but then its my own i find to many religions want control ,judgment over your soul when from what i can understand only one if not more can judge your soul. In laws they have judges to do it under different governments and them laws can change and you wont even know it till ops you broke one then since the laws are in more books then my house can hold im sapost to know all this on all things when did i become a computer program with endless ability to remember and file and catalog all this for a whole world much less a state or city country ? Can i short circuit away die like a mother board ?Whats a body to do ?

Trust

2010-08-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

Trust is a thing hard to give at times but to learn to be trusting as a child and open for me was really easy to start with.Once i discovered i did not even know me besides when im able i like to help i used to love to make wonderful things and give them away sometimes sell but 99% time it was in truth less then the time or even the cost of what i made i lost the ability to craft in joy when i started learning real world politics and how cruel people in chat rooms and even people i knew could be and they say it was all in fun to know someone had trusted in a false friendship false words false names false false false!!!!How is hurting someone fun? I had to relearn so much and learn things for first time like i had to relearn to read when i was 13 as ill just call him the bad man 2 beat me so bad crushed part my skull in and i don't really remember much past them for a few months. I do remember when my Great Aunt had to pay for them to fly me back to place i was raised i was told i had to go with this lady.I was so used to being told or harmed by then i went.Come to find out this was my mom who had lost me by bad man #1 months before i also found out i had 2 brothers and a little sister.I stopping knowing anything from the time i was taken all i could remember was somehow I had lost months i wanted everything to be normal again but it could not as i was not normal any more i could not rad i remember doing it but could not my mom tried to get me help i think but no help came just life and gun shots threw windows at me so i left to survive and keep them safe as by this time i had remembered some .I remember family is to be keep safe so i left . i survived many years on the streets i tryed going back home but it was something that could not be my older brother did not want me around he had come to hate me my sister i think who i had become was not her much loved lost forever older sister my little bro i really never got to know him after that .Surviving does not make for a great proud of sister or friend to many. Truth of how i was being trusting to friends cost me friends but where they really ever a friend .I have very few friends left in life i talk to face to face i can count on less then 1 hand my last life long friend died 13 days after he went back home after he talked me into there drugs and stopping my herbs i come very close to dieing but then i was almost dead haha in body. Now my body has all but healed in brain and in liver do i fix it with the herbs and foods from Mother earth or is it time to allow a tired soul to rest but slowly sense self destruction is now illegal we own nothing thought police action police freedom police all fallowing there dream to keep us safe with laws changing so fast they cant even keep up any more nothing is free no more it all cost i pray this cost someone or many to wake up and smell the pollution of souls ,brains and body's. Because when very small my brain had learned to self protect my spirit self i had what is now called a personality disorder Disassociate disease.Back when everyone but me knew it, it was called multiple personalty disorder seams when my exhusband meet one he desired i needed counseling so i went. How long i cant remember but it did help me realize something was wrong with me .So i did my best to heal my mind. One day it just stopped i went threw over 6 months of self walking memory hell flash backs from all ages all times of my past some so horrible i was put to my knees. People have asked why i put this junk here where the world can read it why is because one day someone will read it and they will find there not alone as i now have learned to feel. I was not really lonely for so long then in last few months it hit me so hard why i go to chat rooms why i learn why i do anything is so i can learn to have friends so maybe 1 day i could find a dream of a soul-mate but its just a dream for me for some i get a great happiness watching there life long friendship of there true soul-mate. I now learn who i am for my inner happiness.Trust is so much trust is self is most important why i was able to do a lot of healing i trusted i knew what herbs from Mother earth could and would heal me if i fallowed the hard path to healing now most of me is healed besides a few galls stones and part of my liver it ws way worse .Do you believe i don't care any more. My doctor does cause she has the paper proof of science but not all the how i did it that will probably go with me to my grave.She does know the main herbs tho so it is in her hands as my hands and legs are tired so is my soul. Trust yes i trust hell is on Earth and Heaven is on Mother earth also you see the soul never leaves the place of its creation. The body changes the Earth slowly becomes out of balance and i trust the balance will be restored by humans i dont have that much faith in human kind any more once i learned politics more and not the people but the controlling part and the cooperate part it has what has slowly brought me here .Trust how can you how can we .Trust and love are the highest spiritual need food clothing water are the body's need to surviving. This i learned well and im tired . I do trust tho herbs can be used to heal as well as kill as i know same with some science medicines they can help you heal or they will slowly or fast make you sicker or kill you. When your bred to be a survivor is this all you will ever be able to do or do you slowly learn to trust again and when you do and its broken with truths of the lies of words and never a action in trust is it time to stop surviving and allow science to have your body to experiment on na ill be cremated at least then i can become dust in the wind. be safe walk in peace allways sonshine I may never be the same again i may not even have this name who knows i don't right now im not even sure what my name is any more.

black fish

2010-08-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

http://furtherleft.net/blackfish.htm a story i think many should read as well as Sticklewart and feverfew . A old story with a lot of heart Little Black Fish .

tmi

2010-07-21T05:58:00.000-07:00

information is like books some true some not and most a mix of both life has become who what where when how and really ?people talk about a simple life i like simple simple choices like i choose to join google a while back i liked the concept of sharing learning and having a place yeah i knew google keep all kinds of info when i use it and still do but i really wish all this was simple im on dial up so i see a lot more how things now slow down my com why does all this junk i dont want if i want to do this on my comp stumbleupon did it cool but becoming very annoying all the tabs of places and things i have read and was any of it really true when a new report reports as they see it not allowed to share there feelings to what there seeing any more its like shhhhh if you want keep a job you use flare lies and just enough the truth we ok it im so lost on the net now i liked it when it was simple now ever thing slows down my comp and im not a guru of them and now new yahoo and new this and new that somethings i think should stay the same simple and fun if i wanted all the links and junk i would mark them personally now theirs times i cant even find the links i like i mark something one way and its seen as another to someone else but now on my comp its fricking someone else ideas of how i saw what i read doggoneit pooy enough yes i like many the new google things as i lost a lot info when my mother board crashed wow new need spell check and not the gifted program i used one thing lead to another this that info now is being used to block impede an idea a thought a life of free o wait we really own nothing not even ourselves strange to finally realize in freedom of religion from forced changes so many places us was made and now with some nightmare that in action we lost what we could never have our self in peace in a loved earth where a bird flying could be safe nope watch out for that truck,train,plane or gun .

Are blinded eyes better then death ears?

2010-07-18T15:48:00.000-07:00

With blinded eyes you learn to walk to live to do in a material world .with death ears all you can hear is all around you see or even hear in truth or know truth learn to be what all around you seam to want and your NEEDS are meet .sometimes I feel as nothing is real any more i learn but the more i learn the on somethings its like why am i fighting to live any more would it not be so much easier to allow my body to let my spirit free then at least i could realy see and feel again .But i cant its been shocked and beaten into me life is precious .But life seams to only become precious when your loved many kinds of love im told good thing i love my baby's and they me if not i would have let science show me how fast i could die instead of going to the learning i know herbs but with the knowledge of self and self needs even if your never allowed to even own yourself as you cant kill self but others can if you do bad im so confused more i learn on things more i want to fade awayyyyyyyyyy

taking W. R.A.P does it help

2010-07-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

I took a class called wrap by Mary Copeland a while back is it good for me not sure any more does it help yes.A part the plan is writing down your normal and how you want to be .Well since i used to have MPD and dont any more i dont have a real me normal yet so im learning who I am in my truth .I cant change my past but i can change how i see and love me .Sometimes i find myself slowly slipping back to someone im truly not. I am me a growing leaning caring human who trys to be understanding. I want to be so much more in a good self seeing light and to do that i have to become the human i feel i was meant to not so easy as sounds.First my idea of who i am is so far away from who i was in most my mpd personality a survival thing i think .Now im trying to mold me into whom i would love even more.I try to talk with all honesty not so good yet with how i word things american english is so hard even for me .I try and try to learn new things new ideas new cultures so im not disrespectful to others old saying i changed i guess .Do onto others as you would have them do to you not as some do .Notice i said some not all are cruel and mean to others some are i know i was one when i was young my truth i try not to be this way now hard sometimes when i see such ignorant meanness who knows if they are even trying to be mean or like a trained slave who is brainwashed i dont i can only learn and truly love and change me no one else. Now with wrap how can i write my normal so when im upset i can use my tools to become my normal again when im now 45 and i see who i was most my own life in actions causes the real inner young child in me to have night mares knowing it was my life my experiences i had some how found a way of saving myself all the shocking mental, emotional and body pain .Thing that sucks is one day after years of counseling i was a multy me with major walking emotions body feeling flash backs of the hell i at 4 had started hiding my true self from.They say God only gives you what you can handle i guess some how so many who dont get mpd can handle a lot when young and when older bless them for this as i could not and i still after many years have a hard time with .was wrap worth it yes!!!!im finding and loving me as me in a self healing loving way and i dont hate myself any more for surviving life the way i had to .Others may but if no love from them to me what loss is it to myself.I have to live with me and my actions and memory's and scars.I will become my dream self or die trying thanks my wrap teacher for the beginning support and teaching me in a kind caring way .Thanks you if you ever read this for being you. be safe walk in peace allways Sonshine

The being of to Hell and back of the Mind.

2010-06-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

I was born a unbiased life loving exploring in ignorance little girl.In California where i dot remember but i do remember the kind oriental Lady as i have learned she was not just a kind people Lady.Reason I remember is I got in trouble for being so young and going to get a free piece of rice candy it was so cool the paper just melted in your mouth.The Policeman came and took me to jail i was like 2 not sure tho.Well it seams my mom was all upset as she could not find me.The police man made me go with him away from the nice lady at the store she had called my mom .It was a night mare but i did get the candy hehe My first friend was i have learned was Spanish but to me he was just cool.I had never seen a black person in my mind till i went to Georgia.My grandmother called them niggers now my friends did not like that then i learned my friends where black.I had stopped using that word since i did not want to upset my friends.But over time like a slow brain wash everywhere like a illness the mental set of some people slowly sets in and we become bias not to how a person acts or does that we like in them but we learn to see at a very young age to rebel and as long as in certain lines you can and i did what else could i do get beat up ?My Mom would not even spank us since her Mother Beat her with switch's she had to pick. I believe her as my grandmother made 3 of us 4 children from 2 to 6 pick our own switch's to be beat us with and if not big enough she would go get a real big one and rip all the little of branch's off of it and beat us .The baby was spanked with the tips she broke off using them on us.My mom was gone !My Dad came The policeman's made him get off and stay of the property my grandmother locked us up in a room .Now why could my dad not have me so i went out the window at 4 or 5 .I remember making it to my dads arms and my Dad having his arms pulled from me as my uncle who started me smoking pipes another story ripped me from my father and then i was locked in the bathroom they caught me that time i remember my dad in uniform screaming to the police and my brothers and sis yelling from the house. I was then locked in a closet with a chair in front of it.My sis and brother i don't know my dad i don't know what happened .I learned later my mom was in a mental hospital from what all my dad had did being himself a unloyal male but she knew this by then but keep having faith he would change to be her idea of someone he was not. Her idea like so many where 1 mate on both sides as she was taught and her dad was i have no clew i was not allowed to know them.How my mom was i could not say i just know her bias self side she may not been the dream lover he dreamed her to be or cook who knows only them and Creator.As i was a Daddy's girl and my Dad was allways changing colors as was everyone around me . edited with help of Firefox and my blessing Google

Ode to The Chocolate tree

2010-05-20T07:10:00.000-07:00

If I could be a Tree A Chocolate Tree I would Be. So i could provide the wonderful roasted seeds from me i would pray=hope lovingly gathered .To provide shade to all Creators of Mother earth whom i live connected to.To be able to watch little children eat a few leafs from me and inhale the exhaled deep healing breath . So oooh to be A Chocolate Tree.I would feel so free to be me.Sad thing is in this world i would be killed and chopped down poisoned a slow painful death in my once hugged bark. Cause you see my leaves are now a killing drug my flesh ripped from my trunk.OOOH to be a safe and wonderful Chocolate Tree .I could feel the wind on my skin and breath so deep with my fresh renewed leafs .I feel escalated to dream of being a Chocolate Tree in the way back once loved garden. When the Adam split and be came the eve of all our humble beginnings. To experience the sun on me every dawn in a happy living new experience of being. I Loved being a tree. littlebitofsonshine

Meew Meew and moo goes the cash cow

2010-05-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

Tick Toc goes the coocoo clock, time move,s back time moves foward the sun still Burn,s Away!!!! The seasons Don,t watch a changing clock a forced WAKE UP CALL. To all we plant in a lost time to a call. The Rooster crows as we slowly stop hearing as we have jumped on a RACE Track in a ever changing Worldly culture. OOOoooo to be free whom the Creator of all things natural. Can help me heal my Temple ,so sad man make's so hard my ever changing life a confused state of being. New is now old, old is now new is it time to "wake up now" or let the coocoo clock go back to sleep? Don't forget to wind the clock or the cows cant go moo. Wonder's when Man control's the Rainbows of the sky is that when the Sun finds liquid oxygen and takes a deep breath will Earth scream out in pain or has she been crying a while?

Rainbow People रेनाबोपोपल

2010-05-07T20:29:00.000-07:00

I have decided to start a new nonracial nonreligious Rainbow People any person who wants to be one can but you cant be mean and judgmental to others or try and shove any religion on another human .So if you want to be of the Rainbow people just add your mark to this page and agree to try and allow others to be themselves with no prejudgment or forced religion we be spiritual your choice as Rainbow people believe we are all equal in the World of ours.

त्रुए हेअलिंग एंड माय थौघ्ट्स ओं प्रोबितिओं

2010-05-05T23:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel as i learn that health is not now like throwing pearls to swine and not just the meat and shells." We are Taught " herbs of the Earth God gave us all. Are New Age and drugs mad in a lab are the true way to getting well and eating right in a fast passed world called Earth. So many herbs for 1000s of years have healed.On the net i see needles that attached to what may be gone but the metal lasted. Why when men play gods do the rest of us have to pay with our true Health?Why must man KILL and NOT HEAL? Why can't human's learn to Balance new and old to heal the WORLD? What happened to humans when did healing become harming ? DID CAIN CONDEMN US ALL IS THAT OUR TRUE HISTORY?

Harness

2010-05-05T22:28:00.000-07:00

When we are Blessed with a Balanced Earth.Then we Put a ROPE = harness and take and take from 2 sides with out ever giving back.Put out more pollutants then the Trees we left<--behind in the Growing World Order of #s and self forgetting the True Health of there own disconnected grandchildren much less 7 generations of I pray loved and Nurtured but where not. i try to learn in a true way in the time im blessed with and to be kind to myself as I have been beating myself up inside for the way I became taught after a harnessed life had started and im told that,s wrong? confusion now SAD MAN PUT WOMAN IN A HARNESS, As he has put his own in a uncaring harness poor mother why have we forsaken thee?

miss yall

2009-06-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

im having net turned off before next billing cycle im tired of only being able to get 21 to 24 kbps i tried up grading paltalk and do a few other things i time out or it will take close to 10 hours to do it and i also need to be able to use my phone ill check in when i can while i can . Be safe walk in peace allways sonshine P.S. i hope to be back soon

44

2009-01-20T19:18:00.000-08:00

wow im 44 and today we got our 44 President.I hope and pray in so many ways we finally become the country so many dreamed in a walking talking and living caring way in a peace finally.A peace so full of fairness and caring we as all humans in all walks of life can become all we can dream and finally become one and not stay a racial or religious judging place any more .I pray the dream has come a new day and time of peace prevail all humans humans free of slavery of any way or unfairness in trade around the world may all slaves to unjust human owner ship and self shame be gone!!!! and may free at last not to free of our human experience ,and be a free spirit in a world undergoing the change of fairness of us all being who we want in a peaceful life. PEACE TO ALL

who am i

2008-11-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

I sit and been thinking so hard sometimes i forget to know yourself you have to know your true past not just yours but your family's you culture your history .Then i realize i have no clue i want to be a rainbow woman true and threw .I am of many nations in this melting pot a stew with no cook the chief who made it made it unbalanced so the taters and meats all started to rot instead of replanting and cooking afresh it seamed so many bring the baggage of our past .We live in so called equal times of fairness and equality of learning and shaping who we really are a baby country with a history of land so much older and elders here foretold .Now a stew is bubbling and splattering with no timer to stop what happens when a stew go's unwatched? i know lets add a presser lid call it The milk and honey with out a drop of the indigent's it says it has and call the best and fresh,s there is wish the original chiefs had used fresh and new for got the past and grow anew but old stock added in with fresh young dreams into of all seeing only the naturals colors of earth and art are it seam.s is a bubbling stew some burnt some fresh and raw i think its time we be who we really are and stand tall we are every nation made one in a land that was filled with honey and berry,s no room for the meek. I think ill be meek and seek in silence with only typed words to hear no voice no emotion no sharing and growing .But in my heart i can't live in a place of no art all shared with fresh meats and fruits and heal and peace in a calming caring sharing place i live in a man made cave and hear millions of thing's and people passing me by as i sit in wonder who am I?

Thunder and Lighting

2008-10-06T12:07:00.000-07:00

Here i sit and wonder what do we do with thunder?Lighting i know can make a fire can kill all it touches while thunder is the sound that can scare from far away .Will humans try to finely harness Mother earth?If you where the earth and all on you saw you as nothing how long till you get so mad and hurt you send the thunder as a warning, then open all the sky with lighting opening your skin spewing out your hot lava and venting your pain and hurt and all who harmed sad even those who did not will get burned. As when a anything living on earth goes insane with pain it can see no difference cause with blinded eyes and with ears that can't hear and a body cut off from the soul of oneness there will be no more use for us.

Ignorant too

2008-08-13T23:56:00.000-07:00

I been thinking a lot on this word ignore ant then with my southern braw its ignore it. When so many are taught a mixed into so many different cultures at once it gets so easy to ignore it all when you have no clue what should be your own norm .you see life in so many ways and when you move to the so called wrong side of the tracks its like walking into a outdated propaganda program.Then as you start to really learn in a way you can understand with no proper guidance to the propaganda that has become a truth in such hushed ignorant way .As i learn able who i am or could be as only good and maybe the mormen would have the history sense part of who i am came here and the part that was here in a part that is a cover in a dream of wanting to keep up and do way better then the Jones.Who keeps up with the smiths tho who can shoe the Horse make a wonderful garden tool where the power is you.When did we become so fast we forget the first rule you have to be open to learning things that challenged all you ever believed and shown not more then once but many times in a word looking up day to even partly understand in our so called english language country most the fricking laws and explanation's are in Latin even medical and law terms are in them why is this ?Well pooy now i learn im even more ignorant the one meaning unlearned uncouth well pooy im learning that even in a country where people think we should all speak english so many hide in the latin in more then just this country no wonder we cant be healed a ignorant human could never understand a world they live and where raised that has become false so many worlds on one world no wonder i stay confused.Cant we all just learn laten or pick a world language that is not so double or triple confusing meaning 1 thing for 1 work or part of a word and where human is the main word for male or female and not in just how it is said like a hidden message?

vessels

2008-05-23T12:49:00.000-07:00

Vessels there are so many kinds!!!! I got to thinking about how many kinds of vessels in my way of thinking and how i thought of each kind. Like 1/2 full or 1/2 empty. How many kinds of vessels a ship a vase a cup wow Then i got to thinking wow im a vessels for my spirit my mind my heart kidneys and all the little germs that share it with me to keep me and them in a living breathing vessel. Now some that share vessels are not such a good thing some are who's to judge tho ? The 1 who says 1/2 full or 1/2 empty? Can the one who says you don't have a spirit say ? can the one who says there's no such thing we are just a genetic code built from creation? More i think the its like wow my brain is a vessel to my thoughts my memories my holder of the glands that make my emotions just wow like the little carved people open one up and you can get a whole family and each can hold another or something you hold dear. Me i think i have a spirit and a brain in my vessel. The balance goes up and down like a ship. People who have a whole vessel of brain or spirit and forget the vessel needs some kind of balance push a lot of other vessels to the breaking point. Like a ship and a ice berg something are not meant to touch but both are a part of the vessel that holds the seas wow see it gets so mind goggling to me. To think something as simple as a vessel could really be so many great things for good or bad in and on this vessel we call earth in the vessel we call the milky way just wow im a speck in a multatude of vessels.

Races

2008-04-29T21:28:00.000-07:00

I have decided sense im so many races im tired of hating myself for things i never did .I'm tired of hearing i must have pride in this or that when Pride is earned not required in my world.I live in a rainbow world some say i walk a red path but in truth i walk a path of a rainbow ,blue, green, yellow, orange, red and magenta of clean air in a poisoned world rainbow way.I left the south the final straw to me was all the prejudice but i found it all over in my tiny travels .I even sometimes still catch my self in old habits that never where good to start with so with tears i clean myself .Yeap i said self cause if yourself is not first how can you help or even truly care for others?i was on the fast road to death not like its not one i been left on before but GODGONEIT people had to awaken me from death to a body i hated .But now i love me knowing im a rainbow no mater my past or who's fault rain can wash away the pain tears can reconnect humans in respect i think.SO the healing within myself must start. World and fellow humans we also have to heal ourselves and the earth shes the only solar Mother we have .

freedom of religion

2008-04-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

In USA we are im told have the right of freedom of religion .Sometimes im glad when people are stopped from harming others females expessly and children.But wheres White Buffalo Woman's day? or wheres Buddha's day .We have so many Christan holidays, freedom day, King day and even Vets day but if we are the land of freedom of religion and i can even understand some the freedom rules in understanding to equal rights.But if we truly are land of freedom of religion then why are so many stores and offices close on Christmas? or Good Friday ? Where Sun-dance week or month wheres days of unleaven bread day payed days off ?cant we choose a special payed day off for ourselves and work on the days others chose to have off ?there has to be a true peacfull way to have freedoms of even being a atheist if thats our way.

a song in my head

2008-03-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

freedom is another name for nothing else to loose is a song i can't get out of my head and i think i finally see it .when you have no love to loose no hope no home nothing else to LOOSE.you are free and when your able to let things go like pets chairs been in family for years . that is nothing but parts of a old silver vein rocks from the liver made to look like perty things.nothing to loose is when your free and now i think i understand why so many can laugh cry and sing at some funerals cause the dead has nothing else to loose and they are finally free of nothing else to loose.

Movies and Life

2008-03-08T05:07:00.000-08:00

I was up very late fixing to head to bed when a movie Ultimate Power By Clint Eastwood .One my all time favorite actors .I did not know it was by him in any way when i started to watch it just that it was one i had not seen with him in it .Very moving movie.Got me to thinking if you have never seen the movie .With the way life and some movies go hand in hand probably why i don't like most could happen horror stories been there done that .But this movie grabbed my tired attention"http://www.onelook.com/?w=attention&last=atention&loc=spell1" proper spelling and all the different meanings to this word i found here thanks you onelook" till the very end then i could not stop thinking .I used to get up at this time and im still awake been thinking so much mostly in such a sad self pity way i guess being sick lonely for human company and at the same time fearing it .and blah blah blah back to the point of me wanting to write and passably read this again some time when im awake and not so open to myself.But in so many ways i could see so many things nothing to do with the movie but things about Ultimate power.Like when i heard the great things Bill Gates was doing to slow down and try to stop malaria in Africa with netting and water additives to kill the worms and other harmful to human and animal who survive off of us .Then i hear his personal I was up very late fixing to head to bed when a movie Ultimate Power By Clint Eastwood .One my all time favorite actors .I did not know it was by him in any way when i started to watch it just that it was one i had not seen with him in it .Very moving movie.Got me to thinking if you have never seen the movie .With the way life and some movies go hand in hand probably why i don't like most could happen horror stories been there done that .But this movie grabbed my tired attention"http://www.onelook.com/?w=attention&last=atention&loc=spell1" proper spelling and all the different meanings to this word i found here thanks you onelook" till the very end then i could not stop thinking .I used to get up at this time and im still awake been thinking so much mostly in such a sad self pity way i guess being sick lonely for human company and at the same time fearing it .and blah blah blah back to the point of me wanting to write and passably read this again some time when im awake and not so open to myself.But in so many ways i could see so many things nothing to do with the movie but things about Ultimate power.Like when i heard the great things Bill Gates was doing to slow down and try to stop malaria in Africa with netting and water additives to kill the worms and other harmful to human and animal who survive off of us .Then i hear his personal held stock in oil and junk polluting the air i was saddened don't know why i should have felt this way but i did people who have portfolios of millions if not billions run by other people to make you and them money forget about people but the one who has it showed in so many ways he personally with there nonprofit company does try and do good does try and give heal care to children and education to people who in this fast paced dyeing world would not have . held stock in oil and junk polluting the air i was saddened don't know why i should have felt this way but i did people who have portfolios of millions if not billions run by other people to make you and them money forget about people but the one who has it showed in so many ways he personally with there nonprofit company does try and do good does try and give heal care to children and education to people who in this fast paced dyeing world would not have .Not that in truth it was ever any of my bushiness but i like to read all kinds of things and i do use windows so i like to read about the man who saw something and made someone of himself for himself and his family who really does help others outside of business .GUESS what he's human .We all have up and down sides to us we all have self choice on so many things sad most we are not educated enough at many times to make them choices but made them we all have ! The ones we hide from our friends ourselves but its them as well as the good we are self proud of who make us who we are who our friends care for who people ask things about and really ant to understand from another point of view!Astounding don't you think what a mind can do ? We can dream up wonderful movies we can dream up false lives we wish we had we can even some times relive in our dreams things we never wanted to see again real or not.We can blame others for our own self doughs we can blame others our foods have hidden poisons but in all truth its US who don't question why Why ask Why is so we can stay a free world this to me is what America meant free to do what ever you wanted in religion in health in anything as long as you where not harming or forcing so someone please tell me if there is no creator there is no power outside of ourselves then who built the human body and all on this earth that humans are trying and changing so fast in the last few 100 years ?Do we really think by making fake healing herbs in a pill and using poisons in our foods to make them last longer will heal us?Its when we slowly start facing our own self truths why we do things to help others is really to help that we learn or how i learn it really is all about me.I help so i feel good i take so others feel good i give so i and others feel better its a give and take and it starts the day we where born to our mothers and fathers no mater who where or why we where born once we learn self we start learning others i think,so much to think about in life and in truth only so little time we each have to make who we dream we are come real or have our dreams destroyed sometimes by self sometimes just by surviving life who knows i don't but i do know this movie made me think so much im just typing away to self to put on a blog maybe a few might read one day besides myself unless i decide or decides to just zip it all away . Be safe walk in peace all ways

change

2007-12-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

we all change in some way .Nothing ever stays the same not a street not a town because as people change so do there surrounding,s .Is it ever good not to have change i think so its good to go get fresh food and know the dna has not been changed it has not been poisoned with pesticides something i think should not change .But some things im learning change can be great it can be like a inner awaking slow but once changed you can never go back cause back is nothing but a fairy tail.A dream of how things where some there back is a nightmare walking and to forget the pain i think is not good to understand why even if nothing you can never grasp but it was for someone,s pleasure you where caused life changing pain so much .Things should be changed where another is not hurt for another's pleasure unless pain is there pleasure and what kind of pain ?what Pain is the last what pain is a fairy tail and what happened to pleasure maybe it was pained away ?

Control again

2007-10-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

Control I been thinking on control in religion and even governments and i even find them in cultures!!!!Silly me i had to keep looking there had to be something that draws us all to places ,ways and even rules. Well this is what i have found out so far safety is the main thing to feel safe in a unsafe world.We can fall out of a tree and get hurt we can ride a bake or even slip in our bath tub and even die .For all these things we had to have a reason why ,why me why them why now. Well it comes down to many things but easiest to just say its there time. You see im really starting to understand why some rules are good weird me saying this i know .Drinking and driving i know why this is not good people can and do get hurt at a much higher rate its not like riding a horse and falling off when you drive drunk you can drive off and kill yourself or others. Gun laws i think everyone should know how to handle a gun and all the safety that goes with it .Wars im not sure i can ever understand that .Some fights yeah i can see but thats 2 people willing to fight wars are not 2 people wars are every human on both so called sides because we are so closed to respecting others and there chosen or not chosen rules. Race here race there what race are we what religion are we what race is are humans ok now im confusing myself again o well i shared thought

hard lesson

2007-09-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

I have learned lately a truth i should have known from real life unless you give and give to people you are no one .When you lose your voice in a place for a few years where you have felt special and could not agree and decide in fairness to unlink everyone not just the place a large part of your heart has invested in .Time in don't mater as seams who you thought where friends where just like all the good time friends there only when you have something to give them .Now i know why in stead of coming out more i more and more turn within myself as to thought you had friends to find out it was not true poof there gone even when the main friend knows you have mental problems and learning best to deal with them o well is life .edit we all need to know we each have our own inner pains and memories as the saying goes you can only be and act as you know and learn and are open too

In fairness

2007-08-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have of late .removed myself from furtherleft chat room and blog .Removing myself in no way in my heart removed me from the people i have come to care about there over the years .It has not stoped me from being who i am nore stoped my mental , body or even my spirit dis ease,s.Futherleft the one i have come to care as a friend and much honored teacher in his sharing and truths even tho we all lie at times .Well so as not let someone to take it persinoaly i am removing all my links and in fairness you who i have removed can take me off you list if im there.I wont take it persionaly as i have never made money on any of my sharing as even this free blogspot has .Futherleft as he likes to be called is the one who help give me the courage to put my thoughts on the net to start with so in fairness sence i have removed the further left link and he has mine as im not a team member any more and sometimes not even sure there realy was a team .So in fairness i am removing all links on this blog that im able i have them all saved n my favorates in private anyway .HUGS to you all be safe walk in peace allways and heal, learn and heal the world if we can cause a me never can but fix self.Healing not killing is my motto sence there seams to be a motto all over some its make love not war to bad so many did not understand many kinds of love and sex is a act love is a action in spirit.thanks see you gals later maybe please dont take it persional guys it is a unsexist way to say yall i guess.

War and DEATH

2007-07-31T16:54:00.000-07:00

I cant understand why this mess has not been stoped .I pray for all people who are being harmed mentally from the so called war on terror .Sad thing is it was and is a war built on lies it is a war that should never have been .How can i have peace when so many hurt so many live in fear cause a lieing war on terror that in truth a few started but whole country's and towns have been destroyed by it babes born affected with depleted uranium poisoning what did the child do what did the people do to deserve this be born in a place that has oil and wants america not to be there ? When american churches sent thousands of Jews back to a land they have not been in hundreds of years who don't even walk as there fellow Jews walk ?Why must we do this why must we harm what happened to live and let live what happened to come in peace and you receive peace .How can taking more land from people who don't want to be involved in the politics of the so called powerful country's .why why must we harm even our own people why does our government lie and why is it always up for sell to the highest bidder where is truth and justice and the so called american way .please someone tell me why besides oil and greed and the lies told ?

fairwell

2007-04-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

bless you all and may peace be the resion for being .may true health be the resion for science to work .may we all learn to respect each others differances in peace . be safe walk in peace allways . i leave my humble thoughts for you all bless you for reading them

borg

2007-04-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

hello To whom it concerns I have in so many ways loved chatting and learning on the net .But i find in so many ways i have also so many times wanted to hide and lie but see this is my problem and all ways has been i try to be as honest to myself as passable first.Well little story thats hard to when a 4 year old has been trapped inside yourself since she was four only to be able to peek out when all my self made protections thought or knew i was safe.But with tough love of my blessed second husband and much loved step children i over came so much .And if not for my friend kelly being there when all my life came flooding and my nephew and niece needed me as an adult and care giver i think in thous 6 months ,i assimilated my whole self together is when my healing and truths of this whole world both sides with self forgiveness i live on.i will live till its my time but sad thing is if not natural then is it your time.I don't get tv i get slow internet but thats o better then nothing or maybe it was not if i had nothing like tv or net then i would just sit and hear old records ops sold them.i would hear the radio and craft or read books but times i could not hold a book haha hard truths are the worse i think to know you want to do so much to create but you hurt you don't know why and when you learn a basic of this and world health cause the net its like so freaking mind boggling to learn we have not become the leaders in peace of mind body and spirit we have become the leaders of brain washing uncaring cooperate mongering control freaks.We who had the strongest voice for stopping slavery in all ways and places.Actually support it the most by buying stuff from country's who allow this who have so called leaders in the people trust for the best for all not just the some. ! they say can change the world 1 how can you change it for better when 7 generations health of any life form is not also watched we are all one don't people get it have we become so self aware we think that we are not the only care giving life forces in all the creators sight?Science looks for what they where visioned was there and find it and all they find getting there or destroy getting there to prove there DREAM with uncaring do you think so many inventors would enjoy what they created was being used to kill there own children or people or even there self if you belive in reincarnation that is .and now to bla bla bla is anyone out there or do we really live in a matrix scary im starting to think so or the beginning of the Borg

something shared

2007-04-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

I got this in a email from who don't mater but the fear in it does.Now i know to the world right now we don't look to good i read.But at one time France gave us this country a statue of Lady freedom .This country was for the poor the tried of religious prosecution to be able to be free with no kings to order mass killing or purging of a way .Im american im not afro american i not native american im not english american im just a plain ol poor working class american who's so close to going to live in our mental hospitals one day if not a death camp way we are going. I love what my country stood for i love the help that is set up to help people in times of need what i don't understand tho is why on God green earth slowly going brown that humans have let us loose so many freedoms all our ancestors from world over and here fought for died for in the land of magic and make believe only the strong survived to make it here and with all the broken treaty's to my cousins.they say freedom is but another world for nothing else to loose.when we have voluntary given so many freedoms away and the laws have changed so much and each state has different laws in one country im confused someone please tell me where the land of i wana be free is what state in the united states honors the original United States Constitution shoot im 43 soon and i did not learn all this you see im one the lost kids not of my moms making or my dads but who knows only thing i have to loose is my life and my babes = my pets seams i all ready have lost the freedoms promised in the United States Constitution.to bad the liberty bell broke i guess it was a sign we did not head.be safe walk in peace allways this is what was shared below "Soon, in the US, the danger of speaking ones mind will be done with, because many wont be able(like now) and nobody(the world) will NOT listen when they hear the cry...just what we have been given... its important to think in terms of laws...but even that will do very little, and it will get here as soon as National Security becomes Law of the Land...this is, explanations and rhetorics if any will be kept to a minimum... if we thought, someone, was listening to us when we went to the streets to protest, wait till you see that leaving your house could be a greater mistake... if you are NOT afraid for your life(like the rest) it probley means you are not afraid that your thoughts will be repressed and you'll also join the new and improved way of Democracy...in that case, consider this as a note to your children's... and finally, sadly, unless you know some good lawyers, that might reduce 90 years sentences, i would be very hesitant to speak my mind...all in all, its time to be careful with our words...if you thought you were careful before, you are not listening... a heads up... peace..." Bless them for sharing with me there fears i still have some faith left or right .

LOVE

2007-03-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

I am told by so many its forgiving its blind its all these zen things but then i look and read about the peoples lives who so many read about it and they where single. They did not walk a common humans path that did not have a love for life a mate threw all there life changes.To me love is when someone brings out the best in yourself for you and for them as you do them you are strong where they are weak and even some things both are strong.You would do your best never to cause them pain mental, spiritual or bodily same for them to me this i s true mated love to be best friends and lovers of life together. Right or wrong it is my idea of LOVE. Same with how i spirity think and how i look at the world with my eyes and soul not another's eyes. My heart guides me right or wrong it is me.I may never get this love but i have seen it and enjoyed watching the loved ones be as one mated pair.its something to aspire to not always easy but then we are all just human not one better then another and not one right for all we are human.On 1 planet we cant even love and care for we rip her apart we own her from our children and leave them nothing but fables of how it was the old west the old history or so many places changed for life in less then a century.

FDA

2007-02-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

FDA i been thinking about our fda federal department of anaculture or is it federal department of america what really is ,is now that im learning ops i asked my daughter it food drug and alcohol may i ask where americas healing is involved with the group we are told protects us FDA approved drugs Fda unapproved Mother earth and GOD cures .There is a cure with in all our plants but how can we and science balance and find cure when our Leaders dont really care for the common people our leaders allow slavery and make the world more and more and more unbalanced where's the learning in that may i ask ???? http://www.google.com/search?q=fda i look and look and its like 2 sides but no balance old is new and new age is really old age no wonder im so confused .!!!! When does the balance come about or have we in uncaring greed allowed the unbalance to go so far we the humans of the world cant come together in healing what ALL our ancestors seam to have forgotten. "WE DONT OWN NOTHING WE ALL BARROW IT FROM OUR CHILDREN " i think we need to come together if for nothing else our children or grandchildren and leave a healthier happer and safer from other human harm weather it be chemical or violence or mental pain of war . Ever one says to become happy heal myself learn to be a better human so i learn and read and sometimes even read 2 or more things all different on many subjects.How can we know its the whole truth if we cant have a unbias history from all emotional and fact sides ???? Does it really mater anymore does anyone hear the call of earth did not planets resonate right before all hell started breaking out with the tsunami the volcanos the mud slides cant any one hear we tore out her voice are we so self minded we cant see whats in front of our faces any more ???? hello with blinded hearing and death sight any one out there ????

i think my last post

2007-02-08T13:01:00.000-08:00

thanks for your time and the honor of reading my words bless you all but i think i give up best to live in ignorance .

Backwards

2007-01-29T11:31:00.000-08:00

I sit and look at the world and watch read and talk .I learn that hypocritical oath Was made in the time of herbal healing not mad made chemicals with a unnatural compound to break it down in our body.So lets see doctor drugs are old herbs are new age and old wife's tells where told way before the herb was discovered.If i understand this wright or is that right .If a old wife's tale is really like a prophesy what are prophets and why do only some peoples count and others don't???? Awww pooy lets just make this a rant day .When i was little i have been hit on thanks God only a short time in catholic school by a nun and the so called father did nothing no one stoped to think i could not see as they do.Im blessed tho to now know my Aunt Loved me enuff to pay for me and my brother to go there the singing was so much fun .I could sing and not get the words backwards but i could not white them right .Now with help and time i am learning so much on how to do things in a proper way of sharing and learning .With the force of religion or ways on me.But enuff of me Why Don't we help all why do people we trust seam to forget everything they introduce to the human body or water ways changes everything.Well come to find out i was raised around one the worse polluters in usa they get fined and keep on doing it over and over again .Others wonder why sometimes it so hard to forget Hope is still locked in the box somewhere .We then again depends on what history you belive and stuff.O wait history is nothing but a fairy tail . O but look at the wonders science has discovering .I think i want to make my own fairy tail today . Once upon a time there was a thought and in time that thought in action became earth now as we spin threw time but who's time. I think we are n a 4th turn on time .Tower of babble ,Atlantis ,Istanbul and America .All over time have and will go away but who's history is truth ????America at one time was this whole continent.What happened to the name of the peoples who where discovered here????O well just a story but in the end when all is done is healing or killing we will know our selfs by i would rather be a known as someone who keep asking why . Healer with a balance of science for true good health form human down to the ants.Where are you ?? is there a yew who knows but God and the angels and demon's.be safe walk in peace allways world wish us a great new age !!!!

ignorant

2007-01-17T22:01:00.000-08:00

I sit in my little world as some call it and look out my window .Some or most time i look in my little window in side the one to the whole wide world .I read or hunt for things to learn .Something like quantum physics so i can read another's point of view to space time mater in a group thread . i read others words around the world some schooled some not to schooled in my language some with thanks free translators "thing is" unless a language is one simple language it is hard to translate in there truth my truth is no language is simple mine included . American english a slow blend of many words of many languages so teaching could be done for the mass,s. Then i read my internet friends pages with such heart some very schooled who bicker among there self,s of or to others about silly stuff to the main point Peace.Now to me Peace is about many things but my truth is all about Peace that has to start with self. and i did my self started healing and i finally got real help not the kind of help i go no where in life but help where i could finally learn to stop being so ignorant.I was taught the only stupid question is the one not asked.Then i find as i grew best not to ask or know things.Now im asking i feel so stupid and ignorant at times caring for so many peaceful souls around the world thanks to the net also some not so peaceful. My ignorance was how could anyone not know of my world or home but then in truth i don't knows theres or mine really.I see pictures of great art some slowly over time fallen apart cause yes stone wares away .i then see pieces of art and i see the other half of the original piece that the part someone liked tore out of it . I see pictures of the great Buddha .it i always felt was made from with heart to someone they respected giant wonder full building and place that was blown apart all in the name of you cant have a ideal.How can we in truth say we respect and want respect if we destroy such things in truth all are just things but some are the heart to the people there where it was destroyed.Some never cared for that art some did .Churches , government building and even homes are a kind of shrine now it seams.To me we need to respect others places for there children and ours art is not always have to do with worship if so then would be a dead place i think all my Creator and Mother earth are each a piece of art.

Whats humanity

2007-01-10T12:48:00.000-08:00

I wonder about science and the good of humans over the good of a plant or any other living organism.We humans have said o my that is wrong and it was stoped in some country's and not others .Thank my creator for this small blessing.Because of this we have seen one group of humans get sicker plants dyeing life forms being killed or starved or hunter to extinction.It would seam to me in humanity we would say ops we where wrong so let us add healthy sulfur back into our food chain but nope .We star being experimented on because we as humans not scientist trust the healer and the discovery from cooperations who sell us much needed pain relief or another to help balance out our brain or heal our weakened systems. I wonder what turn ,the unicorn, the dragon ,the cracken and the kilean bigfoot became extent because of a group of humans wonder when littlefeet will become extent. In humanity is it not our job to try and find the balance for all life forms In peace and respect .I wonder sometimes do microbes have self thought and survival and if it does then is it a it any more ????When does a life force become recognized by another.In death or in life .I wonder have Humans gone so far away from humanity there is only one way to go like a dead end do we degrees or will we slowly mutate and to what.What if on another planet they think we are nothing but savages and treat us like so many human groups have treated others ?? Lets see to me religions have become like goverments or is it goverments have become like religions . At one time when and where i have not clue besides the bible.There where set rules for there leaders .

My fantasy

2007-01-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

I sit and dream a free world a fair world .I dream of people all of different ways naturally respecting others and even in times of not knowing people are forgiven for there rudeness to others of another way .I dream and i dream .But awake i read the news i watch the cooperates make trillions of dollars while we fight for freedoms of others but the large business,s are getting rich and those in charge have no respect for truth or fairness.We are loosing jobs to other country's cause we want a fair wage health coverage and stuff but a corporation don't care and the humans in charge of them just care about cash there green .While all over the true green of life and breath is killed . Then i realize in my mind .Hell is now on this earth for so many places and people .Heavens gates on earth are tainted with lies and greed.

Life in the big City

2006-12-26T09:42:00.000-08:00

I sit and i read and chat with people who say they are from around the world .I find it so fascinating but lately with so much law changes world changes and even major changes in my self.See im a mix blood not a half blood not a pure blood but i only have 1 kind of blood.To have your own father and his new lady treat me and my older brother as they did its like flash backs all my life cause on the day after my mom was packing us up to go back to her home state Ga.O and that day my dad disowned us and left us off crying with my mom with a new born in her arms and my little sister at her feet was christmas=xmas day .On that day a new me was born one of self protection and survival.I spit in 2 in my brain .As different things happened in my life so traumatic i could not deal with i split.Well as all this was going on the world changed from presidents death kings throw from home death then another death and family's breaking up a child was splitting more and more .Im told to have pride in self and my mind is switching back and forth in a broken vitamin deficient way .Over time i made even more self denial of what i thought i had to do to protect the innocent child that was broken at 4 .She was found with the great help of my papasan ex husband and patience a lot on his part and a great therapist. Who was working on his masters ill name him here as he was the man who help me finally break down my own inert walls and let me a child at heart grow up and see all of me as i was and am .Bless you always Mr.Steve SAFTY Smith bless your family your home you all you do and i pray to even bless your kids .But now im me a adult who has been a hard working wild and overly crazy human in past who was now the real me 4 in emotions and seeing the truth of so many .There own blind dislike for people like a prejudging on clothes on the way you talk i even caught my self in my own past doing it i was horrified with myself cause the 4 me would never have Sean any of that as a negative just a bright new way .Now as i find i have hep c a new name for hep non a b i have had over 29 years now .I look out at the world and i see so many great and wonderful things being destroyed history's gone because Man not woman and man the family but man has decided more more mower now now my way or the high way and don't be in front of me as I go .Sad to look at my much loved constitution the reason so many came here to live and where lied to about land but survived and grew across the land .But when the first lie was told or very big misunderstanding of the deal and how it was.To everyone involved .But we have had a slow making of peace but still not there and now i read the news we are going to all die the world is doing a major change and has before human just speed it up to the point who knows science cant even tell us any more o wait science it the art of finding out i think.So no mater what happens in this change be at peace help each other dont hate respect differances im trying so hard to respect others in theres truth as we know it can change but the real truth never will.We are like ant,s if we work well together in harmony we are fine but to close they fight to many they starve or move farther out .But then i have sean 2 different kinds of ants live close together in harmony but so far i don't read much on people doing it for long or true harmony.O well was life in the big city.

The greatest Guift

2006-12-21T12:17:00.000-08:00

The greatest guift you can ever give or recive is true love .The great blessing of loved is to be loved back by whom you love.The greatest pain you can have is to love and not have the love returned.

Mussing

2006-12-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

Mussing A friend who muses in a way i finally caught onto the idea .All we can ever see and truly understand in a glance is only what we have experienced or seen before in that area or action in part of a action. When i thought i knew english i found out i never did.I was under the allusion of a mixed language in truth .Big slap wake up call when i called about wanting to join a church of native American's .Pooy churches are seaport to help to grow to care and nurture people i thought.But then when the ones who where gifted the ability to organize people and things in a smooth working many got greedy and so did the figureheads to the groups.When people forget others in history have done this same thing over and over to where they slowly control more and more people they did not learn how to live in a working harmony of fairness.I think but who am i to think or ask such things .Im not a organizer im not a leader of humans or animals.Who is a Shepard of humans or sheep or even gentle cows or Elephants or stubborn hard working donkeys.just look up the synonym of JOB thanks as above as below

Hello World

2006-11-13T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hello World Today i desired to do things different.I want to speak in a way im understood by all in a plain simple way.Ok my faith in my country has been whining .Now im praying the dem = buy the People and the rep =for the People get a true open understanding to how americans and the usa is seam .For a while now we to the outside so called world seam all to so called rich all the heaven on earth . Its sad but true.We the americans people are not perfect i don't know or ever have meet a human in my life that was perfect.I have heard of a few close to perfect humans tho and this is what i think the Creator of us all wanted us to be more like. Caring to each other respecting each other and honoring each others personal health in mind ,Body and spirit how ever your way of believing is . But when we forget to care for 7 generations after us for a fast profit of personal wealth.We all not just usa or any so called powers of the world started poisoning or own .Now im not perfect in any way but neither is anyone else on this planet we ALL CALL HOME.Its time to wake up humanity in all our so called races and just stop at the rate we are going there will be a end to us all. Me i think prophecies are a warning to ours self but to see one and see the end of future generations not be born on our home .To watch babes new born be brought into this world and deformed to a unnatural state of living . Be cause we had to stop sharing with a bug and did not know how to keep it out of our gardens or all them to share because made the food look bug bit.And it was but instead of pealing off the outer layer we killed the bugs poisoned the land slowly depleted what was there in are greed for the food. We forgot to share with all living beings. Why would anyone want to bring the death to a world a precious gift ???? Just why world don't we just stop the racing and be a team in our differences ????Why cant we have fairness justice respect for all ???? America i love you World i love you God i love you most Angels i honor your guiding lights. My friends i pray for inner peace my ill never meet friends i pray for peace respect and health . My friends know this is my dream to have a healthy world and not see people live or die in a unnatural way by poisons and toxins . Be safe and walk in peace and healing world.

Yabasta my friend

2006-11-09T15:42:00.000-08:00

I miss you and my prayers are with you .We have a flu im told in new Mexico also in the last week so many prayer's go out with and for you and everyone sick of anything .I miss you and dont care that the world knows it cyber hugs.And i wish i had learned you under your called name on day i might get it right .Be safe heal in peace my friend and the world

I sit and read

2006-11-03T16:27:00.000-08:00

I sit and read and read peoples views of things even the news is a set standard of rules they seam to have to fallow .I read about health i read about depleted uranium i read war is good i read war is bad. I read so much I.m tired of reading i would for once love to read the truth a truth of all sides in its wholeness can i get that no way!!!!Cause to tell truths as a whole would mean people would have to respect each others view points .Would have to respect truths that many could not and wont deal with!!!! I read some people sharing what little truth they can find .I read truths that are pieced together by some .But its not a whole truth because each and every human is bias to what they where raised to be and what they are raised as.I talk to people because i love to talk converse and learn and share views.Many my net friends go away and when they do i take them off my list .Why because in truth many i will never see again on the net or in person.Some i have been told are dead some real busy some this some that .Some chat with me playing get information some chat to want to marry anyone they don't care just to get a invite to usa.Some want to play head games to harm and get a laugh .Some play with hearts spirits .But i have learned a very very hard lesion this past year NO ONES REAL.The few who i have come close to even then they hide so much wanting to self protect .Some are just cold humans some are hackers who are bored.Sad all i ever wanted to be was real me best i could be in words and actions but im tired im sick even i have hidden many things why because i myself felt unworthy in my own life .But so many who i have looked up to cared for i find are nothing but letters on a screen .So in saying im tired be safe walk in peace always and may we find the truth in healing and not killing before we kill off the whole world and all the good people on it in all the ways of man .

learning

2006-10-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

Reading all i like to read and learning all i have one way or another in truth or in lies of learning .History repeats itself sad to know we as 1 human mammal to another cant stop and see we are all human in our rainbow of flesh .A part of the earth not apart from her we are of the Creator .I was shocked to know so much predigest of a skin color or a so called race still goes on.But i guess i for one should know this being so mixed so called races of humans my mom is part Irish or i m not sure but i do know my dad was of one also but for some reason i cant understand if she had known i would not be here now just wow!!!!when i told her it was like shivers down my spine and now i read what people in there self chosen way to be cuss force choke the spirit out of people. Now why is this so over a place a human comes from a culture differen it did not make me different besides a little shocked. My mom is mixed races i m mixed my dad was mixed we all are mixed get a grip people we ARE ALL HUMAN AND THE MEAK AND THE HUMAIN are human also .Sometimes a boxed answer is not the right one for all people why cant we be free to care for whom ever and not be judged by whom we like as a human even if I don't agree with all why cant we all be respectfully and caring ????Now i for one can tell you being this way is no easy task so many times i just want to harm but i don't i want to rage but i cant WHY YOU ASK is I am me and i like healing not harming or killing to have peace .You can never have peace with force and you can never ever teach a child true love by teaching them Hate or by beating them for learning .

A moral to a story

2006-10-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

A moral to a story use to be the story tellers objective .Each story teller was allowed to have the freedom to add flare excitement or what was needed to teach a moral thought . Now some stories where told exactly as was taught i would think i don't know i was raised in the time of books and now computers. Some story where to scare but with a base of truth some to enlighten some to teach respect. So many things to learn some where stories on when to plant how to tell when to harvest some to tell why you tend your flocks and why you should never call wolf when there was no wolf trying to kill you flock i think we all have heard the story of "The boy who cried wolf". Some stories where so important in that time they where put to stone but others in there not knowing and disrespect took a piece of now called art defaced it with there own art to loose the truth of the story drawn in stone.Now i would think history and story,s would be a whole truth but then one writing on paper a story now just needs a thought and thats cool i have read many a good book with no bass as to why but to make the reader have a emotion to think in another way at least in reading opens up a whole new world to the reader.But when you open up a new world to a reader and the story is not one of morals , sharing or teaching then what the reader has learned is nothing but someone's inner dreams to that story .Now if you read a story thats sa post to be news should it not be a whole truth both sides the living and the dieting the morals to all sides .I think my morals do not have to be yours but it would be nice for us to respect each others so this is my morals to the story Peace true health respect in our differences.I should not want to cause you harm because you belive different but then i don't want you to harm me cause i am. If i eat at your house and i am allergic to a food and say no thank you or you don't eat a food because your allergic or don,t choose to eat it because of your belief it should be respected.i think but what do i know I,m just a simple me I,m not a tribal story telling whom all wants to hear .I,m not a leader whom we all know cares for us and wont tell us lies but the real truth,s.I,m not the elder aunt watching the little ones trying to teach threw story why we don't play in fires. I,m a me and why i do this is to find my inner peace if it is to be had on this earth or the next realm and to do that is to know true inner peace i think so in reality my blog is about me healing as we all have to have a reason mine is to heal me and if others heal or start healing I'm glad .So please world heal eat the good foods God provided us as they where originally created no man changed so much your body don't know what it is and respect each other even if there way is not your respect is so much more than just sitting together it is talking together.

HERO'S

2006-10-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

Today im thinking HERO,s .When someone says be my Hero why is it thought in a sexual way by so many .But if i said someone was my Hero thay would know i looked up to them in a certan way "WITH RESPECT IN A ACTION".Now I can have many kinds of Hero's can't I???? Even if all my views and my heros views match or not thay can be a special kind of hero to me i think and i think also i can look up to them and also be equial to them in humaness.But then im not a fancy named titel me im just a simple me i think .Be safe walk in peace allways and may we all be Hero's to someone!!!!

Looking up to people

2006-09-30T02:10:00.000-07:00

Looking up to people as i have most my life sometimes not liking them at all and not knowing why and that to me was confusing .Now i know its because i envied them there education or other things there happiness there never being hurt but then now i look back and see they where not as happy as me in my have nothing word.As i learn to know things on the net and other places and all the books i have read i see we really are all the same we want to be happy and healthy and have are needs meet and sometimes our wants.So now i don't envy people so much or even not like someone because there life is different than mine or they are more learned .I found i am learned in my way and i,m happy i have learned i can learn i can see clearly the wrongness of how i used to look at life and how i wanted everyone to be as my dream now thats the laugh i did not even live that dream .I find its not so easy to live truly healthy in a world gone made with mass killing ,pollution ,poisons to kill hungry bugs who also did other things besides take a bite or 2 they also pollinated the plants took out the weak plants and so on .We as humans me included cause i think I'm human lol are all in the wrong in one way or another on 1 thing or another .It is just human to be write or wrong sad tho when humans choose to kill all we don't like.I wonder if the dragon and unicorn would be a fact and not a myth if we had not killed them off like the Dodo bird.Should i look up to people who wanted not needed a animal till it was gone never to be seen again besides in a picture or a painting to one day be a myth????

Visions

2006-09-23T02:42:00.000-07:00

I wonder why is it that some can have visions that are turned to religious drama and others who have visions are damned as a lie ???? How is 1 vision more important than another could it be 1 vision was written down and that person had total faith in what they experienced and another did not have faith or is it those around them did not have faith it all could be healed wow what a grand vision to have of a healing world but then people like fear they like knowing they will be hell fire and death but what if they are not as they where when the vision was made they fallow will they not also be damned just asking???? Visions and seeing what is not real who is to judge that when to the one seeing both are real ????Why is a revelation in the bible more important than any seen by others now some visions by 100s all around the world in different aspects of the same vision what is this thing called a mass vision ????How can so many world wide of different religions and life styles be done tvs i think not radio how back then in the 60 and beyond people have been having a vision of heaven on earth is this so we can make it or wait for our self appointed idea of God to come change and save us from ourself we had the knowledge and have it to do such a thing .So would not evil be anything or one who is trying to harm and not heal in a peaceful respectful way be the one who is a false prophet ????

wholness of People

2006-09-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

I sit in wonder to what we have become .I can,t now stop at just my area i moved across a country as big as many other smaller country,s . This is when I meet a man called Tom Lamance and other people new to me in a total different background history then the one i thought i knew.I was raised in the south usa Middle part of a continent called America .Now my friend Tom was a walking historian and show man in his own right .He reopened my mind to the wonders of this world the fast changing and watching history be changed .Thousand year old ways of life in mass changing and stuff from going from the horse and cart to cars in a life time in small areas and large. Now me being my weird self and watching this war =police action or what ever it is in the last years of my life and learning there history.I can see so many ways history has been repeated but not to the betterment to all human beings but to a few who,s family's have grown so large .To think of family is good but for 1 to starve while others get fat should we all not think we science proven sense this is the new and oldest study of humans as we are ???? I want to ask why do we forget the usa as with all places of the world have slowly changed some to the better of all some to the better of some in 1 way or another but not many i have seen for the all if any . Me i guess i,m out of touch with humanity. So many thing,s to learn so many history,s because people want backing to it all paper work when the stone have been destroyed not worn away but destroyed by others who did not understand nor respect others there differences but the stone held the keys to so many things if the knowledge had been allowed to survive. But then as in Rome do as the Romanes as in Egypt do as the Egyptians wip out the history cut from the stone part of a truth but leave only half truths.But if to be respectfully to history and truth of it how can anyone trust leaders who only want a part how is this respecting self much less the truth . We must honor ourself and if your of more than one history then i have found you always seek the whole truth both sides all 12,8 , 7 just the easiest 4 directions very simple would think to be able to see a one truth but then 2 sides is best but in total truth i think.One real truth to me is easiest i,m human of many cultures lands and people in different religions ways and dead customs to me and sometimes even the one way of that people.To have inner peace i find it is not so easy when so many leaders so called caring branches of a dead tree = dream of freedom of all speech but in a respect in religion and none harmful human ways.Land of i wana be free to be me in a wholeness of people. How do we say we crave the truth when we ourselfs are not open to it in wholness????

time to walk

2006-08-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

sometimes its time to walk sometimes its time to run but now it time for me to go when and if ill be back never know peace to the world and may good dreams become the worlds norm and healing be our flag.

Sheep in wolfs clothing

2006-08-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

When you are forced to see life in another's rules and wishes.To normalcy of the ones in charge how is it ever to be true freedom to be a human in your own spirit ways in peace ???? Have we as humans corrupted our history so much the mass,s have fallen pray once again but like sheep but with out a wise elder sheep to guide the way ???? But if we are sheep who is the Shepard or are they wolf in sheep clothing and why cant it be a lion or a sabertooth why is the story only with a wolf ???? Has anyone ever noticed when nature is in balance we humans rediscover nature has a way of healing self and starting all over ???? Don't humans also have this ability or have we all become lone sheep and are there lone sheep is that posable ???? Can a sheep ware wolfs clothing sence a wolf can ware a sheeps ????

We stop

2006-08-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

When we stop to look at life and being a caring human in humanity .I think we should take the healing science like the alges that clean the water and water ways and allow them to grow to heal to clean .Plant plants that absorb the toxins we put out not kill them as weeds .We cant have all 1 way we have to also have a healing if not then what have we become but destroyers of earth and true humanity's in our knowledge and learning .We are to learn from the past in healing not killing or more forced control in disrespect for life of any kind .We as humans have to make a conscious choice to become healers leaders within ourselves .

Balance lost

2006-08-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

Balance lost is what i think we as humans had a chance to keep the earth healthy and we had the chance to respect others in there wholeness.We had the chance to make a difference and we did we poisoned our ground poisoned our water ways with out a care we have done so much .I keep trying to live a healthier life and more eco life and i find you cant in the usa it comes in plastic and to get the glass is so much but then whats in the glass but altered foods .as much as i wish i could say america usa where i was born and had pride more i learn more i cry more i try more i give up we are past the balance point i see now .Earth will rise up because humans in health could not or did not when the first poisons happened we where brainwashed into thinking it all way for the better safer .Not broken glass but we got slowly leaching poison that harms are nerves but was not know by common folk probably still is not but drugs we take to heal but cant happen we still use poison. To think new age medicines better known as herbs are truly old age and all the new science chemically altered things is really new im so confused how can old be new be old when ever something is found that helps if its cheep it is proven bad by bad uncaring money greedy people.So say la ve or how ever they say it our day will come to bad there was not enuff true caring people in charge instead of cold callus uncaring lieing lower than any thing i can name or will in charge of health care fda and all them and same goes to all who did it around the world destroying her with your control greedy ways .She is awake think the planet is not alive because we don't understand just watch your wars you digging your harming my harming my hurting we all do it no one who lives in so called civilized society is free from it we are tainted so bad there is no healing how can there be we have changed our dna = don't know anything

carbon base

2006-08-08T01:11:00.000-07:00

As i sit and read and think over the last few years exactly this last 4 i have done my best to run from my soul.I wanted to share to who ever wants to read judge me or not your choice .It all stared really when i was very little no i think even farther then that in history . It started where it did i was not there but me i want to think it all started with a thought 2 becoming 1 in Acton i chose to call Creator and Mother earth and together they made humans .How why or how many i don't know i was not there but creator was earth was .who knows maybe i was a tiny carbon waiting to grow . Either way i have learned humans do learn from history some to the great good of all some to the great for a select few .I mean generations upon generations of abuse to self kids animals plants everything . Well i desisted 2 years ago sense most time it hurts to do much i would spend my help money to the best i could to learn to grow to become a better learned human in the way i could understand.But seams my mind is so wild i read so many things and learn truths or lies i don't know any more .But to find my sanity i try to make sense of it all.I read old history new history things i never thought to learn and the more i learn the more it looks like a uncontrolled major changes but then if you could like lets say a day like a sec in time shoot to me it makes sense . All life all the cosmos or what ever you decide to call the heavens .Have a pattern made longer than humans have been on earth but probably not much longer then the first carbon base life form .Like the old saying you are what you eat = take into you .If you just learn junk like i did most my life or live in a world of simpleness you cant understand complex patterns of nature but you can the simple ones watch the ants the plants the animals . But we don't stop any more we don't take the time to lay out and watch clouds with the kids or i was not raised that way but bless those who do with there friends. So many young minds have been programed like a computer to not feel but to not feel has to start somewhere and a tvs cant do that only someone who was not shown caring sharing love can become this way or someone hurt sooooooooooo bad it like the caring left.What i have learned to say it simple is some things not all are to know like a stone smith don't need to know how to sew there clothes .Humans are clannish or pack animals = carbon based life .so a few could do much and a each could also do different fun life giving things and share in fair trade of lives needs. But we have to know it all control it all discover the next great thing with out a care to what damage we do not all but enuff in the leading clans = races = land mass area people.Thing is we have done this before history repeats till the carbon is burned to dust but then am sure we will discover something smaller than dust o wait its a carbon molecule.But each building block of each form has certain needs to hold it together in that for as one mass of life with a spirit to bind it all together. Now here comes the fun part i have learned the bigger picture WE ARE WHAT WE EAT.Is there life after death sure why not it just a different form for the spirit to combine energy is what holds it all together and depending on the kind your feed you use how well you carbon base stays together and going wow like a battery with a 1000 years that get slowly used up or drained real fast .We have become a major energy drain to earth a older carbon base and now she is eating our junk ops would you want to be feed fish eggs to the birds so the birds are feed so you can eat them o wait if you feed all the birds ALL the eggs none to make more after time ops we messed up to late the fish are gone what will the birds eat now .sorry rambling but if you made it this far bless you if not who cares its just words on a screen like tvs or a book you don't have to hold.

Thank God for caring People

2006-07-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

Today I'm doing a thank God for good hearts and the many blessings we don't stop to count in America.I count the food banks where you can get food when out and the people who share so people can have .I count the clothes stores and the community centers so kids are not wild in the streets and unsafe.I count the people who go all over the world and build simple but better homes or even a home for ones who never had there own home.America and many places so many have a good and giving heart . But i also count the curses i guess this is why i worry .To be part of a loving caring whole and see young people sent to war sick. http://www.progressiveindependent.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=35527&mesg_id=35527 but i,m sure leaders don't care for individuals its the cooperations and the money makers they care about it seams to me .Call and call but are we heard yeah with a nice little note mass made of coarse they will look into it. Electoral votes win .Just in case you don't know what this is its the 1 vote millions or 1000,s rearranged so people in power can control it all i think. I have meet so many young people like i was that is saddens the heart because most peoples and children pain could be stoped if people would show a care.When people become quotas and not human to the ones who read them what have we become machines????How can we look at the human needs if we are just #s on paper and true needs met of all people a caring environment good food and a safe HOME. HELLO WORLD WAKE UP TO LOVE

be safe

2006-07-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

well i wont be on for maybe a real long time.My comp is fried and dont go many places and bla bla .So be safe walk in peace allways Ill miss you all you have become my guiding light .Later everyone my prayers will be with yall Sonshine

Meanness

2006-07-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Meanness I don't understand it even tho at times i have been mean and felt so bad for it .But once said it cant be taken back . Some people i looked up to many many times have hurt my feelings but i sorta understood there pain .But to keep getting meaner and meaner i don't understand and i don't want to understand such a blind hate .To me it is better to show true damage done in a light of a caring human i know many who are kind to me even as the cut my heart with there blind hate and never stop to see im also one they hate because it seams they hate all americans or usa people im so confused im not sure i want to continue any of this anymore maybe my ignorance once lost is why i cant find my happiness .I guess i should stay as i was i was more a help to others when i could not see this blind hate and others greed because i keep allowing Meanness to me i myself became mean to myself NO MORE.I'm tired not all usa americans are bad not all even know the latest news and i find I'm tired of it all .Yes i know many truths i don't like but to blame all for the few. To be happy someone got hurt or killed i cant understand and DON'T WANT TO.so peace to all and may love and forgiveness guide each and every human.

4th of July

2006-07-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah the 4th of July 13 day before my birthday .Well i never really could understand it till i got baptized July 4 of 2004 13 days before my 40th birthday.Its was a special day for me i was baptized for myself did not have to join a church but i was spiritually cleaned i was free of all my past sins .No does not change what i have done but i know in my heart i was forgiven because many of my sins i did not know where sins but later i felt they where even tho many don't think are sins now .I still sin at times but i do my best not to .This was also the same year i went to my first true heart sweat.As some who have read my blog before know this is my blah blah page where i wonder and let my emotions flow and release them so i can have some kind of sanity.Well July 4th being a day of freedom i always wondered what from .I,m not very schooled in history and hear so much but if its a day of freedom then why do i as a human feel lately i am less and less free .I watch the news on the net and say where is there freedom where is ours what happened to the original constitution ????Some times i feel so lost in trying to understand how so many things we stand for can be changed so many promises broken .But still Tuesday will be the day i personally was freed of past spiritual pain .I pray the world gets free of all her pain also.So world happy freedom day woohoo .But can i ask as i always do when will freedom ring true ????

vengeance

2006-07-01T12:57:00.000-07:00

I sit and think about all these religions peaceful and harmful . I was raised on the bible and allowing spirit openness till i was like 15. Not saying i belive all of it.If it is suppost to be a history and a guide how to be good humans in humanity and humans choose who was important and who was not .I get confused if we as followers of the new with the blind of old in harmony .Then in faith why do we not turn it over to god ???? Do not murder or do not kill both cause a death some can bring life in a death like eating the lamb do we kill or did we murder the lamb to eat ???? And if vengeance is my say th so many of the Creator then why are so many so called believes in any way harming if in peace ????

Trying to understand

2006-06-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

When we try to learn and to make others happy when the little and are given pain and rules of forced caging. A chides mind changing and making hidden doors to hide the true self from the pain of loved ones. How can we know true joys when no mater what you do it seams you have to conform and when you try to learn it or do it more rules added to it. It like wanting to be a model and having acid slashed in your face .But how do you learn when you live in a shamed life that you wish you did not because of things beyond your control and if you do have control don't know it or how to do it when others say you have it ???? Then you are up in a never ending position of having to try to handle others problems because they know you wont share them . Its like some telling the woman with acid in her face to not stop the dream .When so many humans judge you by your looks or your what haves . How can people think wars of any kind are good and forced changing is good ????A wAR BETEEN PARENTS WARS BETWEEN STATES WARS BETWEEN RELIGIONS WARS BASED ON COLOR OF SKIN WARS OVER LAND WARS OVER WATER .WHEN WILL HUMANS LEARN WHAT NOT TO BE IN A CONTROLING WAY AND NOT IN A HARMFULL WAY .WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO HARM IS IT SO EASY ????I look at the world threw my internet i read i learn . So many come to share and be happy to forget to work.I come to be it is a way to see and try to understand the whys i have no answers for . I can see how to get science and healing the land there are the good ones there who alter trees to help heal.Then there are the ones who design stuff with out a care to the harm it will cause to there grand kids cause they have discovered something that kills a bug they don't want .WAR with the bugs they don't look to see how to not kill and just chase the bugs away to eat something else.They don't stop to see the DDT in the air .These are things i try to understand is why in all humanity could someone design a poison for anything much less humans ????

redfish

2006-06-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

Today a redfish died inside the way out was dammed up the cheek was dry now where to go humans slowly polluting the water the breathing getting harder .The plants and algae where dyeing .Babes bleeding eaten by there own mothers for need to survive father not knowing and eating them too.The frogs have gone the lizards are drying .When the rain comes its poison and no food from above.To slowly see the cancers take hold and knowing they knew when told .Humans are blocking the pool SWIM FISH SWIM but so many did not hear so now i was born caught in here .So the fish went and lived out its short life it saw the hook and bit but even then was not the end .Put in a tank nothing to do but to view the world from a killing's man made pool to eat to sleep should be heaven above but to the little redfish there was no love .

Peace sign

2006-06-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Peace sign's have never realy thought about the peace sign cause i allways know the it went 2 ways the 1/2 meaning two and the one that looked like a lady bug .Well to some it ment split devide and concore. To others it ment 2 as one make a new part of both a child a baby and when the parts become a whole it is a new 1 till it meets it half.Like red and blue make a new purple.So its how the sign was sean as how it was shown to make anew not to rip it apart and see how it was made then try to put it back togther it was the sign for all things i think .A sign of respecting all like that was perverted by humans of all so called races.we go to fast and the drivers have gone mad run little children run there is no where to hide from car or train or posion in the rain the humans have forgotten we are all truly one water to air to fire and plant to human is a chain .By by baby frogs the birds are falling to join the flock.

I dont understand

2006-06-16T06:21:00.000-07:00

I don't understand how some people can tell another what to do so easily and not even know how they live.I know people who say Sonshine come here and visit go there and learn do this do that .But do they ever stop long enuff to understand .Many things i may be able to do but also even more i cant not from fear but reasons that i find personal and if they where my true friend they would learn me and what i can and cant do .I can chat on the net and learn only because i get help .I see a mental doctor i see a councilor each week now i don't have a car it blew up who knows why but god .I'm not complaining mind you but I'm speaking my truth .I'm so tired of people telling me what to do and not understanding if you cant understand fine thats great I'm glad you have never had to experience it.But some not only tell me what to do but want to demand me to be like them .Well i cant and if I'm a disappointment to them is life people don't take into account how others feel when they blindly demand of others.I do my very best at what i can if you can see something i cant in my life must mean you know my life and if you don't then please kindly don't judge me at all i wont judge you .I Just getting over the fact i took Doc meds for a week then in that same week while asleep i took over 30 valium so i guess the god in me wants to go who knows .But to keep telling me i can do something i cant i find it so uncaring and self centered to the point I'm close to giving all this up I'm sure the extra money from not being on here and the stress it would take away sense i don't get tv my news is the net i could go live in ignorance like so many who demand of me live in ignorance on who i am .I,m a simple me i do what i can to learn to share my thoughts and read others .

Think to much peace

2006-06-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

I think to much on world peace i think i think so much i forget how to do .I see all the harm and say what would Jesus do he would love and feed them all no mater what i think what would any truly caring persion do thay would help not harm and bomb .Yes i know the usa was bassed on the bible but i just want to know whos bible it has changed so many times .I still cant find where jesus told any human to harm in his name???? I cant find where he said hate the diffrent i do find over and over where he says to love your nebor in so many so called diffrent religions i see so many samness but why cant the people of them ways see it are we blind to the fact we are all human we all have feelings we all have needs???? We all need to feel safe we need to feel loved we need to love why cant the world have its needs also to care for it and not destroy it how can harming ever heal anyone how can killing ever heal a wound????How can herting someone fix anything or does it do you have to hert the ones you love to heal the ones you try to love ???? I think im getting to confuessed with all this .Cause i know im ment to love and to be loved and im not talking sex either im talking true caring.What is history for if not to learn from it wars dont heal anyone .

write it down

2006-06-10T19:48:00.001-07:00

I'm told write it down so i wont forget .But if i forget is it really that important to me to start with ????To see a moon at dusk as it slowly climbs or revolves around you around this plaint part of a whole geometric system .Humans keep knocking into bombing out of place ops the this planet not the moon they are bombing .So why write it down where one day it will be part of the ground why not share it with the world where in just a second it can all be gone .

love and rainbows

2006-06-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

Ok in not saying anything about gays who want to marry and have the same rights to each others health care and all legaly sence thay are mates but DOGGONEIT Rainbows did not start with gay pride thay chose it and many people have chosen it cause a rainbow is a refelection of light and Also to some means peace and fairness to all in the own way i think so there i have said it .I was a trysexual myself when i was younger so i judge no one who thay love or how thay do as long as its a good relashionship with total honesty.So who am i to judge or anyone for that mater .I cant judge but 1 thing i love rainbows and all humans in humanity and peace .

Pain is it worth it any more

2006-06-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

Pain to learn to enjoy the pain of walking i did i loved to walk more than i liked the pain so i walked and slowly the pain went to where i could walk far. The pain of something they call fybromyliga and learning by watching and paying to much action to self i learned it comes for being upset or being in other pain or stress .So maybe one day i can learn to love this pain of life again i fight for it the only way i know how .I speak only of what i know cause i cant see from another's eyes i can read i cant feel them .To see human talk is to feel them to hug a love is to heal .To have known so many who said they loved but all they do is harm how do you learn to heal when you are the one seeing and feeling the harm so is there truth or real love here any more ????

Horse and cart

2006-05-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

Sometime i wish i could just get a horse and cart and just travel but you cant unless you can afford all the permit's and all that going on.Cant be on a major road and be free so how is all this becoming a better world for all when we have to by raised catfish from a catfish farm because the catfish in the lakes are so polluted and sick them self .Why do we need to be on oxygen because our air is so polluted and not enough filters = trees and plants to clean the air and give out clean oxygen .Think with all this science would thank the ones who find trees that absorb mercery and algae that cleans the water up we would make them heroes in such times.!!!!!!!!People of peace would be treated better not worse or as weak some people just don't know how hard it is in this life time to be of peace when raised fighting .Harming our self and others will never be the way to control or live in peace on earth.But finding your inner peace so you can help others in a good light and way i think is best for me .I pray we wake up before the landing on the moon becomes the last place for humans and whats left of what can be saved from a planet we ALL ARE KILLING AND HARMING.There is a balance people and no one or savor is going to come do it for us we have to save yourself and the planet in true healing caring respect or all .And to think i belive in Jesus and many spirit ways and people of peace and harmony.But i have more faith in the power of humans in a good light to heal this than how some think it will all be changed we had heaven on earth before major controlling and forced owner ship of humans.

U.S.A. get a grip

2006-05-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

I,m told go past my personal pain and about what bothers me so here it is. Stop the fricking wars .Help all who are being hurt and need help in natural disasters .Make friends not enemy's .Heal the world U.S.A. stop killing us and allowing corporations to harm your people and while your at stop finning them just close them down force them to do it cleaner healthier for all .Yes i understand the U.S.A. has become a giant company with loss of the ideas of freedoms and fairness but doggoneit why cant we in America who came and who where here and not discovered by England first. Realize when we finally become a healing force we will be a great world .It makes so much pain this way and healing and making things change for the best of all and not just money in the true long run would be best for us and the world i think.Why cant we all respect each other ????????

new Moon

2006-05-26T15:20:00.000-07:00

Today is the New moon and soon a new me will be .The new me i pray will be a better me better understood and so much more happy .I can start my blog again now my wish has been filled the last one i put out besides world peace and true health and respect and im not sure how the new me will be so nice who knows i may even say a mean thing to thouse who have no care for human life but only for money .But either way spring is here .Be safe walk in peace allways Sonshine

Too Alaska

2006-05-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

too Alaska and who ever cares to read to be able to be so cold and so hot and warm and growing .To loose a warmth like when hard winter sets in with no one there is like a walking death. To love so strongly you would do anything besides giving up kids to be in such warm arms .To know a and a real pride would be a grandest thing.To have someone who could understand me like seal and the bear one eats the other but it is a balance in nature .To have a mate who is like Alaska so cold and unmoving but yet so warm and caring to point of protecting me in ice so i can live .May i always be a ice queen till my king comes .

pain

2006-05-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

Pain have you ever had a pain so bad mentally and physically you wanted to scream out but cant.Because the ones who where to watch over you your fellow country people or goverment did it to you .You forgive them but the pain is always there.To see this pain come to light in India , and all so called 3rd world country's the selling and harming of children.They are OUR FUTURE ONE WHO WAS SO HARM COULD HAVE BEEN A DOCTOR TO SAVE YOUR LIFE BUT LOST THERE CARE 1 COULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT TEACHER BUT LOST THE LOVE OF BEING OR BEING AROUND CHILDREN BECAUSE OF SCARES SOME ARE STRONG TO OVER COME .Some are shy and hide away or kill themself when the pain out ways all the good of this life on a world that has so many other called worlds on 1 planet.When will people and governments stop harming children so one day we can have whole people world over who had a growing up in love and caring from all????

fREE aMERICAI

2006-05-10T06:43:00.000-07:00

As i sit at my friends and try to heal from a major persional mater i read my friends blogs when im not infringing on his time on net its his radio lol I see wishs for chance i hear threw some people this way abouth some things in the news and people saying thay took my righ to vote we counted on you to stop this.But how can we stop a madness beyoung even what the companys in there uncaring can do.When Around the world thay wpould rather make a shoe under 5 dollars pay some sports persion millions just to selll it im so confussed.I painted my own home Healing NOT Killing just so i could have a small voice sence i live so far from one that would so call make changes are at .I read i cant write my vote no more have time to understand any of it i have like 2 years to keep up and learn on them thay say but in truth most working familys cant to much going on.then thay make it where you have only so many hours to vote unless your allowed a write in and does the maachine read all writing its been proven to be wrong in New mexico but yet we still HAVE TO USE THEM SO HOW CAN WE AS SO CALLED FREE AMERICANS DO ANYTHING SOMEONE TELL ME HOW WITH OUT BLOWING THINGS UP KILLING PEOPLE AND DOING WHAT OUR NIGHTMARE HAS DONE TO OTHER COUNTRYS?????PLEASE SOMEONE HAS TO KNOW

Thank you

2006-05-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

Tired or retired thank you all for taking the time for me even tho so many time i had a bi polar attack a pain attack or a woo me god day bless you all for being who you are .Some are ment to be in the light of human some just a glimer never to be heard from again .So many i wanted to understand i failed because our ways are so diffrent .Please know i never ment to insult if i did im sorry and now the twinkle in your eye and maybe become the light i cant see no more . Be safe walk in peace allways

is true love out there realy or is it all in our minds

2006-04-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

as i sit all hallow an I

2006-04-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

As I sit all hallow am I.I,m not a tree that can grow around it,s self am I??? Am I the tree who slowly died inside from "dis ease" and now prays for death so fast or the one who fights for life and lives??? Am I a cat with 9 lives at the end of 8 I lay and die??? Am i the Bitch dog who was throw from a comfy home because I got with babes and left on my own???? NO food no water and not teaching from the one,s who I thought cared.Who lays dyeing and wasted on hope they will come find me to no end???

another 2 for 1

2006-04-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

O yeah I so slow all my life i have been seeing 2 for one holadays .The Goddes eastor and jesus .So many pagan holadays blending into jewish ones and roman ones and what ever ones.O and dont tell a christan there a pagan there un chist like get mad at you over the true .""YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH" wOW EITHER SMART PAGANS OR SILLY CRISTAN WHO ARE CLOSIT PAGANS COULD GET MAD AT THE TRUTH I THINK.Sp happy Crist rising day and happy estor the Fertility Goddess day .Now my week been made i see in a new light and its funny .

Easter and holidays

2006-04-14T14:40:00.000-07:00

As i sit and think about the new year in another part the world and easter coming up.I know i was so happy to hear of spring new years then easter hits me .To me its oh my god Have to buy a new dress make eggs color them and another round of lieing i think its one the reasons i stoped doing chrianisum holidays .Now don't get me wrong i belive in the spirit of goodness Christ ,White Buffalo woman ,Buddha ,Muhammad some and all the humans who walked in the light of goodness and fairness .But to me believing the way i do i hate to lie acervate and play sometimes but to out and out lie when the truth should not hurt anyone and if it does and really is the truth why should it hurt ????Like the old saying the truth will set you free.There is no easter bunny the easter bunny did not save Christ by bringing him colored eggs and candy. Now i see nothing wrong in hiding eggs and having fun or even having a fake bunny story like the uncle Remus Storeys of burr rabbit.But to take a holiday and turn it into a commercial judging what others have and don't have day how is this celebrating a prophecy coming true???? but each there own i have learned to stay at home during holiday times cause kids ask me about that junk and i tell them to go talk to there parents i don't feel like it so i don't have to play in the commercial lies of Santa Klaus and easter bunny's and junk.But nooooooo i have had friends who have known me for years and know how i am .They tell me to go ahead and talk to the child about it well me being me i tell them the truth there is not easter bunny who shows up its all a lie saint nic was a nice man who died a long time ago.And don't trust all them people in a Santa suit.But its nice seeing a child,s face light up with a gift but even more so when its truly unexpected and not a commercialized bigger is better have to be dressed in your sunday finest to point of oh my god it itches.I just don't understand it all Jesus was sharing giving understanding and honest and so where the others of good but also LOVING caring sharing and True to the path they walked weather Jew ,Native American or China ways or all the ways i can,t passably know some i wish i knew so much better some they scare me .So many new age christians and old age scare me i know i learned i had a great uncle long ago who was killed on a cross i remembered that part but did not know it was because he was a christian wow.Guess he did not buy into the controlling killing others who are different lies either of well history repeats i guess we will never be human enuff to hit true humanity But i can pray and maybe the believers and the nonbelievers can come together as one in humanity and save the nature of us all this plaint the animals ourselves.(note to self not that would be a miracle) Be safe walk in peace always and happy Christ rising day sunday or was it monday who know could have been last week calendars change too.

my ancers start

2006-04-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

answers to me are teaching using Dr Weils book on self health and how to be responsible for your own body .To know how to care for yourself in health and to care for others true health to me is the best start the world could make .So many times Man made test to so call cure have harmed just so cooperations can paten and sell there drugs . So many times governments and science have not slowed down to say no this harms good idea bad action find a better one but no!!!!!!!!!! we find the more polluting ones not the healthier go slower life electric cars its a race like we have to go faster and faster not safe and safer .We call our self races of humans but if you slow down we are all human .We all want to and desire to be the best us posable i would hope.But If we are not taught how to be the best us in fairness then it seams a race is on why is it in english we are races not humans ???? We label ourself this and that but other label us other things and then its like we much destroy the different kill all others side of the whole truth .When will we as a whole world say stop it and stand up for the right and fairness of it all ????If you don't like other ways then fine don't be that way but don't force me to be your way in a free so called country.Doggone it

God i confess

2006-04-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

Note to self .When others can decide you life .Your knowledge and when you will need it is ever some being crucial to life , are they really caring for you in the best light .I have a confession To God .I have done that same thing in my ignorance .To not tell someone who i know who,s having sex all the dangers involved and not showing them how a proper human should be in MY eyes.I failed them as fellow humans .People who play with a chemistry set with out a care can blow up them sells .Like never get a rubber and fill it with drano and shove it in a gas tank it will blow up in a mater of seconds. So if im going to play with rubbers it should be during great and wonderfully sex so im protected and others are protected from disease god you know i have hep c and it eats at me knowing if only i had been taught about the world at a younger age .But God if only Are always lonely without knowledge and ingor ance have i not gone back to where humans all started in ignorance as a child ??? Now we can never go back just forward and God Creator of all .Thanks for allowing humans in humanity to go and learn .But God i think we fucked up we forgot in ignorance when you change others plans in ignorance we as humans suck>But God i have to confess where i live and loved till the more i learned i love my earthly Father even tho i did not know him .He was in the air force and believed in his and my right and my kids right to learn to be who we are and to finally get freedoms.God the more i came out of ignorance tho i found out i could not freely be me and the religion or culture i wanted .Wow what a wake up call it was God To find out in the land of the free when some of my dead relatives came because others where burned at the stake for being Christ an not as a witch and then the God healing witches where killed because they learn to heal with herbs and would not share there healing powers and what herb cured and what one killed and how much tada now they have doctors.God when will we all truly see out of ignorance true freedom takes a lot of respect of culture ,religions and other ways ????God thats my confession today im ignorant on many things but some i just cant learn i have try but you know this but by word of mouth my confessions will clean my soul and as you know Father cause all threw out my life you have been there for me .When i was rapped o those so many times and left for dead just from walking down a street and being all perty and young .You where there for me when i died those 2 times even tho if i had died it would have been just all right with me.Now as i get older and see so much ignorance in this world of religions gone bad not the sheep but the leaders God .Where is superman o and God this time they draw him and wish to be him as a child or have him save us when we all know it cant .Can he have like really long hair ????Thanks GOD my Creator of and in me Aho = amen = the end

positive peace

2006-04-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

ok I was told i need to see the more positive about the world .Seams all i even talk about is what i would like see changed but not how to change them . To me one world order if could be in fairness and respect should be easy but its not we are humans and seam to want to grow in humanity but we keep reverting back to the control in force and disrespect.Well to me each human should be able to get there needs from a fair amount of work .Each human religion should be allowed in respect of others .Seams simple but then you add in all the blessed people who tried with there whole spirit to bring about the good of god and humanity's.Its sad the more i learn about these people and there great works for there people now .Is it not the wisest who can stop and look in our blessed way to better ourselves as one race to save ourselves and the planet???? Now if we had the respect in all religions to respect others and not down grade or force change or force a none change to the better of all in peace ???? I look at my government sense I'm American in the usa .I love so many things about here and other places.I see and can find not easy for me but can find a science area where they are working to change plants to clean up our mess not only is it cheeper than other ways but also takes longer but would produce clean air as it cleans and something nice to look at .I forget his name in the country we make famous by the media game players, actors, writers of fiction and some political people .Shoot only place I'm sure in the world where a cheating an who lost his dick hence the "bobbit saying" can get another one and go into porn and get rich for being a unloyal male.Now if in fairness yes someone can make there dreams come true here because under it all americans on the whole i feel and the world has goodness and fairness in them all.But why cant we make the scientist who changes and discovers for caring like the team who found and breed the enzymes that eat oil to clean up the corporation spills.I can be very hardheaded but most time i prefer peace or i leave but when do you keep walking away how long and how far can we walk for the changes we all desire world wide ???? why cant americans and others when in India respect them and ware that kind of clothes???? why cant we respect as Humans each other cult ures Ok I think i was being positive if not give me some feed back if you have the time and if you read this far .be safe walk in peace always.Sonshine

ARE WE REALY SHEEP????

2006-04-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

I sit and wonder how close to sheep people really are in the civil war humans where given sheep blood to live .I also watch so much destroying when i know we have the science to fix it but yet only info to the world is altered foods not plants that can clean the air or trees that soak up mercery.We had so many people in places of heroes who play games not learn or paint.it cool to have people who play good who teach well to be heroes but why have we forgotten all this started i thought to better the world not change it where we dis ease the land and people .Why cant we heal and not kill ?????WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO IT WHY ARNT WE WHY CANT WE WHY DO WE ALL TURN AROUND AND GO PLAY OR BLOCK OUT THE WORLD

I AM AMERICAN

2006-04-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

Now mater what I'm all American i belive in the dream that founded this country and has and had so many want to come here but over the years our leaders forgot about the common people and opened major out side trade to point we put our own local people out of jobs gave major tax cuts to corporations who sent 1000s of jobs away .Now I'm all for growth but if your going to grow why forget the ground you grew on. So many plants die when you move them grow them in different soil and they change slowly over time.I am so tired of watching all the lies and harm don't in religious names of peaceful people Jesus would never back a war .How can anyone feel its ok to heal or change someone or something by killing don't you know your not healing or changing it your killing everyone who is different in a false name.If you call yourself a christen and say you fallow Jesus he would not go to war.How can we be a healing world if we keep controlling and blowing her up when is the test on how long it will take humans to kill ourselves off ???? Why cant we be one world in love and understanding with respect for 7 generations away can we heal the earth for them cause as of now even science would say we have majored in polluting this earth .When Americans bigness people and Germany and all them made a race in science how many generations ago was it that it all started how long ago agent orange our F.D.A approved for killing plants OPS FORGOT TO TEST IT ON HUMANS TRST IN IT MAKES THEM VERY SICK AND DEFORMS AND KILLS ALSO A MAJOR CANER CAUSING AGENT.Thanks F.D.A for keeping the people safe !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!When are we as Americans going to stand for the working people world wide in fairness since we don't want them coming to get out union jobs why cant we have rights for world and fair labor and works and health for all ???? If we don't want them taking our jobs why do so many people send the jobs over there and other country where close to slave wags ?????Why do we by things marked up so much when there people are working for way less then Americans could afford to and eat and have a home much less a life .Think people we are the dream and we need to stand as one and be a acting force of change and not a slowly dyeing killing testing machine of corps.Why do we want fair trade when we don't give it why should we demand clean water when people who run corporations here go to other places and use stuff there and kill of the land with stuff made illeagle here thanks F.D.A. and laws for health.But how can we as a Nation in humanity not see it ?????????Why don't all that hit the news why does PBS and other places cover it in humanity but news don't cover it as breaking a health law but someplace else knowing KNOWING THE TRUTH OF IT ALL bE SAFE WALK IN PEACE ALLWAYS BUT IN GOOD HEALTH ALSO I PRAY

As I stew

2006-04-03T07:30:00.000-07:00

Ok as i sit and stew .I think to how all my blessed councilors have said write it down say just it get out .Sonshine you need to write a book .Well i hate paper work and red tape so ill write my feeling here and share with who ever will read.Today my bitch is this .People for years have told me i need to be a preacher but to me most preachers ,i come and found out over the years don't even walk what they take they are reading another words and not even to the word .Well to me to the word means as spoken in the cortex it was spoken not to the point its not what was.Now im told the natives had runners with the best and acerate memory's but just think if 1 word is changed the whole meaning in context is changed also.Now to me a True heart preacher walks a simple life and shares love and forgiveness and sharing and caring as Jesus was as Buddha was as Gandhi and Mother Tressa and all the others i don't know there names love.Is not someone who walks with creator one who can use there own words thoughts and ideas and not someone who has to control in a ever changing script ???Just a thought well now i feel better i hope you do to .On spring day i became a ordained preacher i thought was a major step for me but then i found out the business side of it all of GOD!!!!!!!!Im so glad so many goodly people where sent there team shoot Jesus had 12!!!! to think to be blessed with people who can handle all this i think even the prophets would have had a hard time in this day and age shoot.HEALING NOT KILLING IS THE WAY be safe walk in peace allways